My Choice
by Vanadinite
Summary: This is your chance. This is your time to act. A subordinate needs your help, and it's a matter of life and death. Should you follow Levi's orders and stay out of it or help your admirer when he needs you most? SPOILER ALERT Warnings inside.
1. Flashback

**Pairing: Levi x Feminine!OC/Reader**

**Warning: This story contains mature language, violence and character-deaths.**

_**SPOILER ALERT!**_

**Abbreviation: **

**(h/l) = hair length**

**(h/c) = hair colour**

**(f/n) = first name**

**(l/n) = last name**

**(e/c) = eye colour**

****The credits to my image - www-pinterest-com****

~Chapter 1 - Flashback~

_-Flashback-_

_I was only 4 years old when I became homeless. My parents died from starvation and I was on the edge to end up just like them, dumped in the sewers. I would sit in an alley with rags covering my dirty body barely having any energy to raise my head to look at the people passing by me. Everyone was selfish, thinking about themselves. _

_But who was I to blame them, they also needed food to survive, and everyone that lived in the underground had barely food to survive themselves, why in the world would they give it to me? I was just one of those hundreds of kids who were starving. What made me so special to get to eat food?_

_But then one day, out of nowhere, a short boy with a dark-coloured cape walked down the alley. The shadows from the ruins surrounding us blocked his face and made him unrecognizable. The sound of his boots clanging to the stone tiles rang in my ears. I shut my eyes, too tired to keep them open. _

_Judging by the sound of the boy's boots, he had stopped right in front of me. I slowly lifted my head to see him. Saliva was quickly formed inside my mouth when I saw the warm bread that was held in his slim hand. Drool leaked out of the corners of my mouth and rolled down to my chin. My eyes widened, I knew what bread was, but the only kind of bread I got to eat was cold hard ones. This was freshly baked._

_The boy went down on one knee and tangled his free hand into my (h/l), messy (h/c) locks. He tilted my head upwards for a better look of my face. While he studied my facial features, I tried my best to study his, but the shadow caused by the hood kept his face, still, a secret. _

"_Filthy…"_

_The boy mumbled to himself with a slightly disgusted voice. He then raised his voice and asked for my name. _

"_(f-f/n)"_

_I answered after swallowing the saliva that prevented me from speaking. _

"_Nice to meet you, (f/n). Do you want this bread?"_

_I nodded hastily. My body needed food; I can't survive another day without it. I was thirsty and hungry and desperate after food. I would have literally done anything to get even just a bite out of that bread. _

"_Then don't be afraid. I won't hurt you."_

_He handed me the bread and before he even had the time to reconsider his move, I ripped the bread out of his hands and devoured it like a mad dog. I heard how the boy muttered how disgusting I was and wondered where my manners where under his breath. But I didn't care; I was too busy eating to think of getting offended by my saviour's words. _

_I froze when I suddenly felt the boy's arms wrapped around me. He picked me up bridal style and started walking down the dark alley. Which direction, I wasn't paying attention. _

_I was young at that time, only 4 years old, but I was smart enough to know that I was in trouble. Mom used to tell me to never talk to strangers. This was on a whole another level; this boy was carrying me, taking me away. But mom isn't here, is she?_

_I played different scenarios in my mind and started thinking of a way to escape. _

_The boy noticed._

"_Like I said, you don't have to be afraid. I won't hurt you. Now don't make me repeat myself."_

_His voice was threatening; he really did hate repeating himself. _

_I nodded, but still didn't give up on thinking up an escape plan. My body was extremely weak at that time. I had been sitting in that alley for a few days in a row to keep in the body heat and to save my energy, so biting his hand to get a few seconds head start and then running away would be meaningless. This boy moved around smoothly and swiftly, which meant that he was in top shape. Another reason why running away would be a bad choice._

_Or, I could just wait and see where he would bring me and judging by the situation then, I will think of a plan. If he had wanted to kill me he wouldn't have given me that freshly baked bread and he would most certainly not pick me up and carry me away since I was so filthy. Bread was very expensive and valuable here in the undergrounds, and judging by his reaction of my dirty face, he hated filthy things. _

_I wasn't surprised when my eyelids felt heavier and heavier. His smooth movements rocked me to sleep and his body heat felt like a warm blanket tightly wrapped around me. It was a feeling I've never remembered having. _

_My body felt odd. To begin with, I don't feel the usual emptiness and couldn't hear the recognizable growling noise coming from my stomach. _

_My back was resting on something cool and soft, and over my body laid a white blanket with laces on the sides that someone had put with care. Not a single crease was on the blanket. _

_I was in a room alone with sparkling clean furnishings. The wooden door was shut and on the navy blue couch, which was placed beside the door, was the same bistre coloured cloak and straps that the boy who saved me wore. _

_Speaking of the boy, the door opened. I was surprised with what I saw, on the other hand, I didn't know what to expect. _

_The boy, a teenager, with short, straight black hair styled in an undercut and intensive grey eyes moved closer to me with confident steps. He had well-developed muscles all over his body. His expression was calm and in a slight frown. The teenager had a perfectly sized white shirt and a brown vest. His muscular legs were covered with a pair of slim dark grey pants. _

"_See that you are awake, how are you feeling?"_

_His voice was soothing. I cleared my throat and said as politely as I could._

"_I am feeling great. Thank you, sir."_

"_Call me Levi."_

"_Ok, Levi-sir."_

_-Time skip (6 years later) -_

"_Levi! Please don't hurt me."_

_Levi smirked._

"_If you want to be as good as me, you can't act like a brat!"_

_Levi launched forward towards me, I ducked and managed to get away from his extended arms. But he didn't stop there, with a swift kick from behind, he kicked me down to the gravel and then pinned me down, his smirk got wider. _

_We were located on an empty field with his friends Isabel and Farlan. Isabel and Farlan joined Levi's 'team' one year after me. But they were twice my age, which meant they could train with the 3DMG. Apparently, according to Levi, I was too young to use it. _

"_Brats like you don't need to have a broken bone at such a young age." he would say every time I ask him why I couldn't start my training. _

_Isabel and Farlan cheered, claiming that I've made process. _

"_(f/n)! That was awesome! You managed to dodge one of his punches! HOORAY!"_

_Surprisingly, that made me feel better. Levi was in spite of everything, a very strong person, no, thug. You wouldn't think otherwise if you knew that Levi was the leader of the Underground Criminal Organisation, shortened with UCO. Only a few people knew the latter fact. _

_Levi would receive letters from nobles or rich people about a job; usually it would be about assassinating someone or stealing something and according to his reward, he would either go through with it or use the paper as a cleaning appliance. _

_Since the day I moved in with Levi, he had given me special training. He started with my stamina. And just so that you know, my young age never stopped him from giving me punishments. In fact, it actually encouraged him. Some might see him as a sadistic, but I see him as a great 'teacher' that really wants me to learn, and punishments was his way on teaching. _

_Levi didn't only teach me combat, but also tactic and logical thinking, strategy in different situations, manners and, most importantly according to him, cleaning. _

"_How can you be a good fighter if you can't even mop the floor properly?"_

_To be honest, Levi has given me more cleaning and 'Grow-some-manners' lessons than combat lessons. Creepy fact, but that is what happens when your 'teacher' is a clean-freak and perfectionist. _

_At the age of ten, I started training my body physically. Every night, my whole body would be sore from all the exercise I've received. Muscles started to build on my lean figure and soon, I could categorise myself as fit. _

_2 years later, I started my 3DMG training, which was 3 years before planned. It was because of my height, I was tall for a 12 year old, and I was actually taller than Levi at that time. When Isabel confronted Levi about me, a 12 year old, being taller than him, a 28 year-old, he refused to talk to us for a whole week and cancelled all lessons. _

_Levi enjoyed being my teacher, though he never said he was proud of me directly, I knew he was. I know that by his conversation with Isabel. _

"_Levi, how's (f/n)'s training going?"_

"_Fine."_

"_Come on, more details. You know how much I want to see her training, but I have work to do so I can't. Tell me, is she improving, is she better than me?"_

"_It's going fine. Yes, she is improving. Honestly, she is better than any 12 year old I've ever met and probably the best 12 years old at this moment. If she keeps up, she'll have a chance to live a better life than I did and make changes to this disgusting world."_

"_Don't say that…."_

"_I don't need your pity. Now if you'd leave, I have letters to answer."_

_I've never understood what he meant with 'live a better life than I did and make changes to this disgusting world'. _

_I knew that we lived in a harsh world, living in the sewers wasn't something anyone'd call a 'good lifestyle'. But how was me having good combat skills going to change the fact I'm an underground criminal? Knowing how to fight is a good skill, especially if you live in the underground district like us. But how is it going to give me a better life? How much I train and sharpen my combat skills, I knew I would never be as good as Levi. So what did he mean?_

"_(f/n)."_

_I looked up to the oh-so-familiar voice. _

"_Yes, Levi?"_

"_Do you trust my judgements? This isn't some cheesy shit, you know what I mean. If I told you something was wrong, would you follow my judgements without questioning me?"_

_I thought for a while. He liked saying things that you would understand in the future. Sometimes, he himself doesn't even know why he asked the questions he asked in the past. _

"_Well, it really depends on the situation. Why do you ask?"_

"_Just wondering."_

_-End of Flashback -_


	2. Show Them What We've got

~Chapter 2 - Show Them What We've Got~

2 years has past like a flash and I was as enthusiastic as ever. I was still by Levi's side with Isabel and Farlan. We four were like a family, if anything happened to any of us, the others would help one out no matter the difficulties. And that's the reason why I loved and cared for them more than anything, even over myself.

The atmosphere was lighted up by thin streams of light that seeped through the bars that separated us from the world above us. I zapped through the air with my 3DMG and giggled as the air brushed through my (h/l) (h/c).

My black tights and skinny white shirt made me move faster through the air. My 2 years of 3DMG training really showed on my smooth moves as I flew over the underground city.

"Oi! (f/n)! Take it easy! I'm not touching a dead person!"

Levi yelled from behind. I chuckled at his dark humour.

"Aww, you're no fun! Come one! Loosen up a bit!"

I replied and increased my speed.

Everyone knew my obsession with 3DMG. I would have the straps on me anytime, anywhere, sometimes even when i go to sleep. It gave me a feeling of freedom and power. With the 3DMG, I'm capable of anything.

"(F/N)! Military police! Get over here!"

Levi commanded with a serious tone.

He was around 10 meters behind me. I shot both hooks to the stone roof and did a few volts in the air as I returned to my position behind Levi. Isabel was diagonally behind me to the left and Farlan to the right. I gave each of them a reassuring smile before looking at where the military police were. There were 4 figures with 3DMG flying towards us just around 50 meters away, all of them had capes, just like us. But theirs were forrest green coloured.

"Under the stone bridge. Continue to the big-ass pillar. Further orders will be given there."

Levi ordered and dived down towards the stone bridge. The stone bridge was located in the centre of what people here called as downtown. A few people were debating about the price while others were drinking.

After Levi was my turn. I shot the hooks into the stone bridge and swung under and then up to the other side. Isabel and Farlan copied my moves and were right behind me. We continued to the 'big-ass pillar'. There was only one pillar that was bigger than the rest, so it was pretty easy to spot the one Levi was talking about.

"Sharp U-turn at the next pillar."

Without questioning him, we all did as we were told.

All four of us held the same position as we reached the huge pillar that reached from the roof all the way to the ground. I flicked my right arm and the right hook flew to its objective. When it reached the pillar and dug itself into the hard rock, I swung to the left and within a seccong i was on the other side of the pillar.

I looked back and saw the 4 soldiers following us close behind. They were good, better than the ones we usually encounter. Did they improve their skills? It can't be, not in this short time.

Levi landed on a nearby tin roof. Without saying anything, the three of us all landed beside him.

"They ain't half bad!"

Isabel whistled.

"They are pretty good for the Military Police."

I said and my mind started working in high speed. The military police where just spoiled soldiers that protect the 'high and mighty king'. Levi used to give me books and newspapers that someone dropped through the bars from the world above us. That was where I learned about the Military Police, Recon Corps and the Garrisons. Long story short, they are, in order, spoiled dumbasses, well-trained murderers and drunk slacking-off chickens.

"That's the Recon Corps. I saw the crests on their backs just as I was passing by. It was the Wings of Freedom."

Me, Isabel and Farlan stared at Levi with disbelief. Why the hell would the Recon Corps come here? Did the Military Police have enough of us thugs? Did they really want to get rid of us that badly that they even sent the Recon Corps? Thoughts and speculations filled my mind as I tried to sort things out.

What I've heard, the Recon Corps were really bad with what they were doing. The newspaper that Levi gave me was filled with stories about the Recon Corps failing at their expeditions and how they were eating up the tax-payers money just to die outside the walls.

"We split up and try to shake them of."

I suggested. They nodded and we took off again. We'll just have to see if they are as bad as they sound.


	3. Lessons To Remember

~Chapter 3 - Lessons to remember~

The four of us made our way to the Living Quarters. High buildings where scattered everywhere and between them were thin passages for us to go through. The four of us knew this place by heart and know all the secret short-cuts here; the Recon Corps won't stand a chance against us.

When we reached the centre of the Living Quarters, the four of us split up and took four different passages. The passage I took was located at the north of the Living Quarters. Levi went to the east, Farlan to the west and Isabel to the south.

The four Recon Corps soldiers split up as well; each of them followed one of us. A man with blonde hair which was parted down the middle followed behind me. He had a thin moustache and beard. His face was fully concentrated and slightly angered. Covering most of his tall and well-built body was a Recon Corps' signature forest green cape.

When our eyes met for a short second, I sneered.

Not wasting a single second, I used my full strength trying to shake him of. I mentally went through all the lessons Levi gave me a few months ago.

Lesson 1: Make unexpected turns.

The passage in front of me opened up a 3 rounds where available for me to choose among. I made a move at the last second and flew to the right. I made a volt in the air to check if the man was still behind me. Yepp, he was.

Lesson 2: Take empty passages.

The passage in front of me made a dead end. A house quickly formed in front of me with windows. Not slowing down, I curled into a ball in mid-air and smashed through the glass pane. Glass scattered everywhere around me and made small cuts into my legs. With a swift movement, I got onto my feet and ran to the contrary side and jumped out of the window there. I protected my face with my arms, gaining cuts around my torso and arms.

Lesson 3: Don't look back too often, you'll slow down. Use your other senses.

I quickly gathered myself and tried to forget about the pain that was spreading across my body. The 3DMG didn't help, it only worsened the pain. I clenched my jaws.

"Don't bring the team down, (f/n). You are going to show them what you can do!" I thought to myself.

The motivation gave me new energy and I pushed forward.

I made a sharp turn to the left and zapped between the two walls. Cloth lines were in the way, those that weren't as experienced as me would have no chance dodging them. The cloth lines were nearly invisible. Some of them had clothes hanging on them to dry, others were there JUST to trap and hurt thugs like us with 3DMG.

I took the passage to my favourite place. I've been here several times for training. There was a wall right in front of me. Outsiders don't know that there was a passage to the left. I took the said passage and continued to another wall. I shot both my hooks towards the top of the wall, and while the lines swung me over to the other side of the wall, I did a volt in the air to check how my Recon Corps guy was doing.

He wasn't there.

"I guess the newspapers were right, the Recon Corps do suck." I laughed as I landed on the solid ground.

As I was smiling triumphantly, I didn't notice a man sneaking up to me from behind.

He then launched towards me and shoved me to the floor. One of his big hands held my head to the ground and the other pinned my right wrist.

"What did you say?" He growled through clenched jaws.

Lesson 4: Never let your guard down.

Dammit.

"I'll schay id again if yer lert gow ov meh!" The ground grinded into my face made it hard for me to speak. I struggled under him trying to find a weak link in his tall and strong features; without any results.

"You're coming with me!" He growled again. He aggressively pulled me up and held both of my arms behind me in a tight grasp.

Lesson 5: Never give up. Keep on trying.

The man was right behind me. Our walk had just started and I wanted it to end already.

I pulled my right leg back and using my full force, I kicked him behind his knees making him fall to his knees. His grasp around my arms released and I pulled my arms away from him. I gave him a hard punch at his left jaw with my left fist and then using my right hand; I grasped his rough blonde hair and pulled his face backwards. Before I could give him another punch, he had pinned me down once again. But this time, I was lying on my back and both my wrists were pinned over my head.

His left jaw was reddening after my punch and his eyes were burning with fury. Without a word, he flipped me onto my stomach and tied my arms together with thick rope. He pulled me up and pushed me forward.

We were heading to the east side.

"Levi's supposed to be there." I thought to myself. "I wonder what he's up to?"

The walk with the man was quiet, to my relief. I didn't have time to talk to him, I needed a plan. He walked behind me to the right and held my tied arms with a firm grip.

3DMG was useless now. I can't use it when my arms are tied. Running away would be useless and pointless, but it was worth a shot. What do I have to lose? If I was cooperative with him and followed him like a dog, I'd probably get executed because of me working under Levi and for the UCO.

We approached a small wooden bridge. It was 10 meters over the ground and built with thick, old wood planks.

I turned my head towards the man and bit his arm. I could feel my teeth digging through his cape and into his flesh.

He let go of my arm with a muffled groan. I turned around and ran to the edge of the bridge and leapt. But something, or rather someone, pulled onto my cape, making me fall back to the bridge with a loud thump.

"You're really desperate to run away from me, huh?" He said with a sneer.

He took out another set of thick rope and tied my feet together. He made sure he would pull tightly at the places where I have my cuts, making me groan in agony.

"I want to see you worm to your freedom." He said and smirked.

Dammit.


	4. Erwin Smith

~Chapter 4 - Erwin Smith~

"Here." The blonde man said and dropped me onto the ground.

I landed with a loud thump on my tail bone and grimaced at the pain that shot through my spine.

"About time." A female muttered and walked towards me.

That's when I saw them. Levi. Isabel. Farlan. They were on their knees behind the female and their wrists were tied together with a wooden plank with 2 holes just the size for their wrists.

A male Recon Corps soldier leaned against one of the ruins' wall with his arms crossed. He was keeping an eye for the 3 thugs.

"What took you so long?" the female asked.

The blonde didn't answer. I smirked at his silence. I understood what he was doing. He didn't want to embarrass himself in front of his comrades. Especially when it's a teenager that beat his ass just a few minutes ago.

"What you smirking at?" Said man growled and dipped my face into a pool of mud.

"Mike." The deep voice came from another blonde.

This one was kneeling in front of Levi studying his face. He got onto his feet and his calm, collected face faced me. His blonde hair was kept neatly and parted on the left side. His icy blue eyes were the brightest shade of blue I've ever seen and his eyebrows…woahhh.

I knew who he was, I mean, who didn't know who he was? He was the all-so-famous Erwin Smith, from the Recon Corps, the mastermind. The newspaper described him as the biggest murderer of all.

He stopped in front of me. Mike's hand slowly let go of my head and I got up on my knees. Erwin took out a napkin and gently wiped the mud of my face. I tried to get way but his grip around my chin and the ropes that tied me together held me in place.

"Kelly, note all she says."

The female pulled out a brown note-book from her back pocket and pulled out a pencil. She gave Erwin, a nod and looked down at her note-book waiting for me to speak.

"What's your name?" Erwin asked.

I looked away, ignoring his question.

"I don't want to make this any harder. Now answer my question. What's your name?" He repeated.

"Does it matter?" I asked.

"Just answer him." Levi ordered me. Liquid mud covered half of his face and his eyes had darkened.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. I know this was a serious situation and I know as well that the Recon Corps weren't as bad as the news made them sound like. But I still can't take all of this seriously; this whole day has felt unreal.

"(f/n)." I answered shortly. The female, Kelly, scribbled down a word, surely my name.

"Nice to meet you, (f/n). I'm Erwin Smith." He gave a tiny smile before he scooted behind me. Just as he was going to untie my legs, Mike, the man that carried me here like a sack of potato on his shoulder, stopped him.

"Do you really think it's a good idea? She'd rather jump down a 10 meter high bridge than letting me capture her."

My friends didn't look surprised, unlike the four Recon Corps soldiers.

"Really? Say, what took you so long?" Erwin asked.

He seemed like a man that would be collected and calm the whole time, but even he couldn't hide his interest now.

Mike took a deep breath and spoke, trying to make it an everyday-talk.

"After I first captured her she kicked me down and gave me a hard punch on my jaw"

He pointed towards his jaw which was all red now.

"I must say it was a really hard punch as you can see. After I tied her arms, she bit my arm…"

Mike pulled away his cape and took of his brown jacket. There, on his muscled arm was a print after both my upper and under row teeth. The gash was red and still bleeding.

"…and then ran towards the edge of the bridge. It was pure luck that I managed to get to her in time. She's fast like hell. I then tied her legs up and carried her here."

When Mike's story ended, I couldn't stop the laughter that was bubbling up inside of me. Mike's face heated up, not because of embarrassment, but rather of anger. Before he could go anything, Erwin took control of the situation like the leader he was.

"How old are you?"

I looked up at him with a big smile decorating my face.

"You're too old for me, my friend." I said and giggled.

"(f/n)! Quite playing around and answer his god damn question!" Levi yelled and gave me a warning look.

"Just trying to enjoy myself since I'm going to die soon, but alright" I muttered barely audible. No one heard it except Erwin, of course. He was still behind me with his hands on my ropes.

"I am not planning on killing you. But if you continue to be uncooperative, I guess I just have to change my plans….for your friends as well."

"14. I'm 14 years old. Don't touch them!" I shot up, desperately trying to turn around to face him, but failed.

"14...14...Amazing. Skills as good as our fully trained soldiers back home. Interesting..." Erwin muttered to himself.

Suddenly, I felt the ropes around my legs loosen up. I was just about to get onto my feet and give Erwin a hard kick in his face when the said man held me down to the ground. His lips crept closer and his breath tickled my ear.

"I'm sure you won't run. You wouldn't abandon your friends would you?" He whispered and then walked to the rest.

I stayed on my knees in the pool of mud, slightly shocked after his threatening words.

"Levi, I have a deal." Erwin said and looked down at Levi. Levi refused to look at Erwin and just stared blankly at the ground.

"Join the Recon Corps; your friends are following as well."


	5. Recon Corps

~Chapter 5 - Recon Corps~

"I'll go report your arrival. Stay here." A guard said and walked through the gate.

The four of us had been on a carriage-ride for the past few hours. While Levi was staring down into the carpet in the carriage, me and Isabel, and just a few glances from Farlan, had been looking through the window admiring the outside-world. Everything here was the exact opposite then the Underground District.

The citizens here were all healthy-looking and lively. Most of them had clean clothes on their bodies and had smiles decorating their clean faces.

The buildings were whole; none of them were in ruins. Each brick was creditably placed with cement keeping them together. Most of the houses were nicely taken care of. Small patches of grass were to be seen a little here and there and colourful flowers scattered on small hills.

Kids ran around on the stone-made streets as they giggled or screamed of joy. Innocent young creatures, not aware of what's hiding right under their feet and outside the tall walls.

Anger bubbled slightly inside of me. While people in the Underground starved and had to steal and kill for food, people in the Outside world walked around in long beautiful dresses or clean suits throwing away half-eaten food on the floor. The only thing they had to worry about was if they would dirty their precious shoes when on their walks.

"Idiots." I thought to myself. "Just a bunch of disrespectful idiots."

The carriage had stopped outside a huge castle-looking building. It was surrounded with 5 meter tall walls built with white-coloured bricks.

"Levi, about joining the Recon Corps…" Farlan began, but wasn't able to finish his sentence.

"I'm not joining the Recon Corps; I just came here to get closer to that blondie. And once I get the chance, I'll kill that bastard right away…" Levi snarled as his eyes darkened.

Isabel, Farlan and I were struck with astonishment leaving us dumbfounded. Levi has never said he'd kill anyone straight out before. He preferred to not dirty his mouth with the k-word, though he swore mercilessly and had a dark humour.

Breaking the horrible and uncomfortable silence, Farlan said:

"You remember my plan right? If you're still not sure tell me. Those guys won't contact us again. It would be meaningless if we kill Erwin now. This is our chance; it's definitely going to work. Trust me."

Levi stared at Farlan's desperate face.

"You four, come here!" The guard walked back from the gate and called the four to him.

Levi turned his back to Farlan and strode off to the guard.

"Levi…" Farlan uttered.

Isabel went after Levi who had already reached the guard. I placed my hand on Farlan's right shoulder as a comfort gesture and squeezed slightly.

"He trusts you, we all do." I comforted and smiled warmly. He replied my smile before we both jogged to Levi and Isabel to catch up.

"Attention! From this day on, these four will fight alongside with you. You four may introduce yourselves to your fellow soldiers." The commander Keith Shadis said with a determined and powerful voice.

Levi, me, Isabel and Farlan stood side by side on a stage a meter above the soldiers with Keith a little in front of us. All of us had the Recon Corps uniform.

Keith was a man in his mid-years. He short brown hair and beard. His forehead had wrinkles on it and his eyes were surrounded with them.

Everyone's attention was aimed at Levi since he was the one furthest out in our line.

"Levi." He said with a bored tone.

Everyone stared at him for his tone; some even opened their mouths in disbelief.

I didn't care if the other where still in slight shock, I raised my voice and sounded even more confident than I expected.

"(f/n) (l/n), it's a pleasure to meet you." I giggled and tilted my head slightly to the right.

"My name is Isabel Magnolia. Nice to meet you!" Isabel gave a broad smile.

She tilted her body forward and her wine red hair which was styled in 2 pig-tails slid down to her shoulders. Her green orbs glittered as she looked at the soldiers who were standing in front with their arms behind their backs.

"Farlan Church. Pleased to meet you." Farlan said and fist bumped his chest as he smiled.

His pale brown hair was messy and his bangs hung over his forehead between his silver grey eyes.

The soldier's faces were twisted in different emotions. Most of them were making the am-I-really-going-to-work-with-these-freaks faces which almost made me laugh out loud.

"They will stay in Fragon's squad. Fragon, take good care of them." Keith informed.

"In my squad?" A man yelled surprised, he had to be this Fragon Keith named a second ago.

"Do you object?" Keith asked, still calm.

"No, I just thought they would join Erwin's squad." Fragon explained, nervousness was everywhere among his words.

"Captain Erwin is working on a new formation for the next expedition. He entrusted the new recruits to you. You will now be responsible for their training, is that understood?"

"Yes! Understood!" Fragon said as he saluted to his commander.


	6. Squad Barracks

~Chapter 6 - Squad Barracks~

Fragon opened a wooden door and went inside. Levi, Me, Isabel and Farlan followed him.

"This is the squad barracks." Fragon explained and walked to the end of the room.

Simple wooden double-decker beds where lined neatly against the wall. But the room itself was nothing near the word neat. Shirts and pants where hanging from the beds, cologne and aftershave bottles where trashing down the room and paper pieces where everywhere. The beds weren't made and just made the room look even trashier.

Levi was not pleased.

"Does that mean we live together?" Isabel asked ebulliently.

"Women live in the room down the hall to the right." Fragon said.

"Eeehh? But I'm fine here!" Isabel exclaimed.

"Don't argue Isabel." I said trying to calm her down. "I'm a woman too, so you won't be alone."

If she didn't get everything the way she wanted, she would have a breakdown and sing her heart out until she pass out.

"You are not a women just yet, (f/n), you're still a girl." Farlen said and chuckled.

"Ha ha, Farlen." I said sarcastically and rolled my eyes.

"You will sleep here." Farlan said and pointed at a double decker bed the corner.

The sheets had a thick layer of dust and the wood was old and had splinters sticking out of it from everywhere.

Levi walked to the bed and put his hand on the wood. As he slowly rubbed his hand against the pale wood, sticks and splinters fluttered down to the floor. Levi's eyes darkened.

"You lived in the underground sewers so much that you're probably used to the dirt, and here you are having cleanliness orders." Fragon said mockingly as he crossed his arms and leaned against the bed nearby.

"What did you say?" Levi turned his head around to face Fragon. He strode to him and stopped once their faces were just an inch apart from each other. "You bastard, what the fuck did you say?"

"What? Don't you dare talk to an outranking officer that way, you filthy piece of trash." Fragon intimidated and made him look bigger than he was.

Before a fight could break out, Farlen dragged Levi back and stood between them.

"Aaah! Don't worry Captain! We'll keep the place clean! Yes?" Farlan looked at Levi who didn't answer him.

Farlan bumped his fist against his chest as to imitate a salute. Fragon tch-ed at his failure to make a proper salute and turned around.

"Once you finish unpacking, go to the training grounds. We'll start by teaching Church the correct way to salute."

I covered Isabel's mouth when I saw laughter bubbling up inside of her, tears where formed in her eyes when she couldn't release the laughter.

As soon as the door slammed shut, I let go of my hand and Isabel fell onto her knees laughing. Farlan's fake smile disappeared and he turned around to Levi.

"Levi!" Farlan said in a strict voice. "I told you not to fight!"

Levi walked to the bed and pulled the blanket off of the bed while making sure none of the dust would fall down. He walked to the window and shook the blanket outside to get the dust away.

"Did you not hear what he called us?"

Isabel and I were standing a few meters away from them. We were exchanging wacky faces and imitating Fragon with exaggerating faces.

"And they call this cleaning? What the hell is wrong with them?" Levi said as he returned and made his bed. "I treated him like he was with me, and if he continues to behave that way he will not receive a salute from me."

Levi walked to a wardrobe and opened it. Inside were many different kinds of cleaning appliances, brooms, mops, rags, buckets, everything you can imagine.

"First things first, we will clean until not a single speck of dust is present."

Isabel and I fell silent. Levi was at the window and the light from outside made Levi look like a cleaning god. He had already tied a clean, but old handkerchief around his head to keep most of his raven black hair away from his face.

"Right now?" Isabel asked.

"You said you didn't want any conflicts."


	7. Sky full of stars

~Chapter 7 - Sky full of stars~

"It's beautiful isn't it?" I asked amazed.

Levi and I were on the roof of the HQ. We sat on the edge glancing up at the stars. Levi hummed as response. Judging by his tone, something was troubling him.

"Spill it." I said simply.

He turned his head and faced me.

"Do you think of me as a father figure?" He asked.

What?

Honestly, I never thought of Levi as a father since I had one already. He was more like a best friend who was about twice my age who protected me when I was weak and fed me when I was hungry. Basically, he took care of me when no one else could.

"I don't know, Levi. I never thought about it." I lied.

As the matter of fact, yes, I have thought about it. I knew the answer to his question. But I was afraid he might get mad at me or feel disappointed.

And as if he could read my mind, he said.

"(f/n), you have to tell me. I won't be disappointed at you."

I sighed deeply.

"Promise." I said.

His face became uneasy. Sorrow was filling his eyes, but before I could confirm it was sorrow, he blinked it away and put on the usual calm, collected face.

"Fine, promise"

I looked up at the sky, not being able to look at him straight into his eyes.

"No, I don't see you as a father." I said after a few moments of silence.

I could hear a tiny sigh, maybe of relief? I don't know. I was too embarrassed to think.

"Ok." He said.

I sat up as a thought came into my mind.

"I've got a present for you." I said as I smiled. He got up as well with a confused look; I have never given him a present before, it's because I didn't have anything to give, not because I didn't want to.

I reached to my pocket, pulled out an oblong black box and handed it to Levi. He gently accepted the box and opened it. Lying on a hot pink coaster laid a pearl white handkerchief made out of smooth silk.

"Where did you get this?" He asked shockingly.

"I went to town when we were on break this afternoon to buy you a present. I never actually fully thanked you before and I thought now was a perfect chance." I smiled.

"Thank me for what? And how did you get the money to buy this? This most have cost a fortune!"

"It did. I used the money I've saved for 6 years to buy you this present. I hope you like it."

"I…I…thank you, (f/n)."

"Thank YOU, Levi. If it hadn't been for you, I wouldn't have been where I am now, today. You took care of me when no one else could. You took me in and trained me like I was worth something though I was just one among hundreds of starving children. Even though you knew it would mean a lot of trouble, you took responsibility for me. And I wanted to show you my appreciation to you, thank you for everything." I poured my heart out and tears slowly rolled down my cheeks.

I had wanted to say those words for a really long time, but never really had the chance. And finally, under a sky full of stars, I finally said it.

Levi pulled me towards him into a warm hug. He rubbed my back and I wrapped my arms around his neck. I couldn't stop myself from smiling.

After a while, when I've calmed myself, we moved away from each other. I took the black box and gently pulled out the handkerchief. I inched closer to Levi and tied the handkerchief around his neck.

I moved back to have a better look and was pleased with what I saw. The handkerchief suited him.

Before any of us could say anything, footsteps echoing from behind kept us quiet. Thankfully, it was just Isabel and Farlan.

"You guys are going to keep this all to yourselves? That so unfair." Farlan said.

"Yea and you guys sneaked off all on your own too…" Isabel said

Levi didn't answer. He fell down onto his back and looked back up to the sky. Isabel and Farlan sat down beside us.

The four of us looked up at the sky admiring the shiny stars.

Just as we were about to call it a night, Levi turned to Farlan and said.

"Farlan, I've decided not to kill blondie. I'll trust you."

With a smile Farlan's face, we went back to our barracks.


	8. Freedom

~Chapter 8 - Freedom~

-Few months later-

"Open the gate!" Commander Shadis commanded with a powerful voice.

The brown gate in front of us moved. The painting of Maria slowly lifted from the ground.

What I've heard, we were now at the southern gate of Shiganshina district.

"ALL SOLDIERS! ADVANCE!" Commander Shadis roared as he started his horse and galloped out of the protecting walls.

The whole army followed him.

Levi, Isabel, Farlan and I were at the end of the line. We each had our own brown horse. The months that were past were incredibly busy for all of us. We had a lot of things to learn that wasn't needed in the Underground. Take horse-riding as an example, down in the Underground district, we never saw any animals except the usual rats and insects. Even stray dogs and cats were rare since starving people would eat them. They didn't touch the rats though, but only because they were hard to catch.

Isabel and I were very excited. Both of us wanted to have some fun outside the walls instead of the usual training. The others thought of us as idiots who didn't cared about our lives. But they don't understand how it feels like to be trapped under the ground with filthy people who would backstab you as soon as they get their chance. I was among the few lucky ones who could trust my friends.

Humans are greedy, once we get a taste of something we like, we would crave more of it. I don't need to hear their excuses about not being greedy, because after all, they are humans as well.

Farlan's fist clenched around the rope that was connected to the horse, just like his fists, his jaws was clenched as well. Sweat drops pearled around his forehead and he was twitching slightly.

"Hey…Now would be a good time…someone…no way. Someone tell me this is a joke." Farlan murmured under his shaky breath. "This sounds like a made up story…"

"Yeah, I know. A few underground thugs going beyond the wall." Levi replied.

The soldier in front of us yelled a loud "Hyaaa" and the horse galloped after the others. The four of us did the same.

I lifted my head and saw as the cave-looking gate got closer to me. I grabbed roughly to the rope to suppress my eager. As I popped out on the other side of the world, the view made me lose my breath.

White fluffy clouds took over the heavenly blue sky. Far away, as far as my eye sight could reach, were green grass plains. A few trees grew in groups of two or three and were scattered around a little randomly. Mountains and hills covered the horizon and the little birds flying in with their friends made the whole view look heavenly.

The sun warmed up my tears that had leaked out of my eyes. These weren't painful tears of sorrow, but joyful tears. One word echoed over and over again in my mind and each time I think about the word, the more hopeful and glad I became.

_Freedom_

"Amazing…." I breathed and wiped away my tears before anyone could see them. But of course, it was too late, Levi had seen them.

"Yeah, not bad." He said with a ghostly smile on his lips.

"This is the worst part, I mean; we actually went outside the walls." Farlan sighed. His eyes flickered among the nearby soldier as if in any second they send us back to the Underground. He sank his voice and continued. "We were supposed to have the documents by now, but where is Erwin hiding it?"

"Don't worry; I'll take care of the titans." Levi said without facing him. He kept his eyes on the road in front of him.

"Levi, even you can't handle all of them-"

"Do you not trust me?" He shifted his head slightly so his steel grey eyes could meet Farlan's.

"That's not what I implied-"

"Hehehe, Farlan's scared." Now it was Isabel who interrupted Farlan. Her giggles could be heard over the loud thumps from the horses.

"Hey! Who's scared?" Farlan snarled at Isabel. His tone was deadly and anyone who didn't know Farlan in person would have run away. But Isabel was too close to Farlan to get afraid.

"Just leave it to me Farlan! I'll kick those titans' asses one by one! Just watch me!" Isabel said with pride. A smile never left her face.

Farlan narrowed his eye.

"Listen here you little-"

"Quite screwing around!" A voice from behind interrupted Farlan's threats. It was one of our squad-mates, Sayram. He was pissed, wait, not pissed. He was furious. "The titan's aren't the easy prey you thugs think they are. Countless excellent soldiers have been devoured by them! You filthy thugs from the underground…You guys are getting to cocky!"

The smile from Isabel's face disappeared and a serious look took over.

"You say that but, when I take down a titan it's going to mean all of those 'excellent soldiers' you were talking about are less than some thug." Her confidence made Sayram even angrier.

"Wh- What did you say? You…." Sayram was struggling with words. Anger made him stutter and his thin brows were deeply furrowed.

I was on my way to say "Ooooh!", but Levi managed to make a move before me and pulled his cloak away revealing his 3DMG and swords. His eyes glared daggers at Sayram.

No matter how brave Sayram was or ever would be, he would never dare to mess with Levi. Nobody would. Levi would be able to chop their head off before they could say the word "thug".

"You bastards…" He growled through gritted jaws. His eyes were burning with fury and his hands were shaking due to how hard he held to the rope.

"Knock it off, Sayram." Fragon interfered.

"But squad leader…" Sayram tried to protest but was cut off by Fragon.

"Calm down! For now, we need to remain in our new formation that we practised. We don't know when the titans will appear, so don't break the formation." He faced Isabel and Levi as he said the following with narrowed eyes. "Once they actually fight some real titans, they'll change their tune. There's a difference between practice and the real things after all."


	9. Titan Sighted!

~Chapter 9 - Titan sighted!~

"TITAN SIGHTED!" a voice filled with horror cried out loud. "A 15 METER CLASS ON THE LEFT SIDE COMING FROM THE FOREST, IT'S COMING RIGHT THIS WAY!"

I heard the cry from a soldier, judging by how loud the voice was the soldier must be pretty far forward. I shifted on my horse, while balancing myself to not fall off, and then tried to see the titan that he had talked about.

I shaded my face with my right hand from the sun that blocked my view.

And there it was. The 15 meter class titan that was coming from the forest.

It was huge.

"Oh my god…" I breathed.

The titan had blonde hair and a creepy smile on his wide lips. It had a muscly body and his long arms were hugging the nearby trees.

The forest itself was enormous, the forest contained millions and millions of humongous trees, or how Levi would express himself, big-ass trees.

I saw as Keith and the advance guards make a left turn and rode right into the forest. The rest of us continued straight forwards.

Just as Keith and the advance guards vanished inside the forest, another titan appeared just a few trees away from the other one.

The same voice that cried out last time raised his voice and yelled. "ANOTHER TITAN APPEARED; A 20 METER CLASS AND ITS HEADING RIGHT THIS WAY!"

2 soldiers yelled back to the others that they'd handle it. As we continued, the two soldiers exited the formation and rode towards the titan on his right side.

They were trying to lure him back into the woods.

That's understandable; the 3DMG was useless without trees or tall buildings for our hooks to dig into.

But what happened next was not understandable; the titan didn't pay attention the two soldiers that had sacrificed themselves as luring bait. Instead, it continued heading for the formation.

There were only 2 choices left for the two soldiers. Either they continue try to lure the titan back into the forest, which they would fail miserably at, or they start their 3DMG and try to defeat the titans as good as it goes.

Just as expected, they chose the latter one.

The two of them started their 3DMG and shot their hooks to the titan, as they twirled around the titan, another soldier joined in.

The titan, which was a deviant, shot his arm towards one of them and managed to grab one of the soldiers.

The horror that was shown on his face burned into my mind. I wanted to start my 3DMG and help him, but my body was paralyzed from the shock.

The titan opened his smirking lips and revealed his rows of surprisingly white teeth. His mouth widened and a loud scream was heard as the jaws slammed shut.

I tried to look away, but couldn't.

_What the hell is going on? _I thought over and over again. _Do something, (f/n)! Do something now! Why can't I move? Why am I still on this god damn horse! I need to save them; I need to help them before the rest get killed, so why am I not moving?_

Blood dripped to the grass, leaving a red pool of blood.

The second soldier was right behind the titan and had a clear view to the nape. He shot his hooks down on both sides of the nape and dove with the swords ready but was stopped when the titan started shaking himself and jumped around. The lines that were attached to the titan kept the 2 soldiers stuck. The moves by the titan made the remaining two soldiers look like they were stuck on a deadly merry-go-round.

As the titan continued to shake, the soldier that was so close to exterminate the titan a few second ago was swung down to the ground face first and landed with a horrible crack which confirmed his death.

The titan turned his head and faced the last remaining soldier and his black hair was flipped to the side. Within a second, the titan reopened his jaws and bit towards the soldier.

I saw it as if in slow motion, I saw with my own eyes as the third soldier was devoured by the titan. I saw how the head that once belonged to the brave soldier that sacrificed himself trying to save the rest of us dropped to the grass.

_Blood, oh my god so much blood! _I yelled in my mind. _I could have done something….why didn't I do anything? This is my entire fault; if I did something they might be alive right now. Why…(f/n), why didn't you do anything? Are you afraid? _

The shock kept my tears away as I mentally blamed me for everything. I pushed the thought away and decided to scold and punish myself later.

Squad leader Fragon and Sayram quickened their pace and were now in front of us, they were going to fight the deviant. Levi, who has been beside me the whole time, fastened his speed and catches up.

"You, what do you plan on doing?" Fragon asked and stared at Levi.

"What do you think?" Levi answered with a question. "Isabel! Farlan! (f/n)! Let's go!"


	10. Devour The Deviant

~Chapter 10 - Devour The Deviant~

I wanted to protest. I didn't want to be outside the walls anymore. Yes, the view out here is perfect and enticing and the feeling of freedom was what I had been dreamed about for my whole life. But the titans are the complete opposite of enticing, in fact, the titans were horrendous creatures that should be extinct. I wanted to go home; I'd rather drink sewer water than deal with that guy.

Farlan said just what I had in mind, and in return, he was accused for being scared by Isabel.

_(f/n)! What the hell is wrong with you! Those three soldiers sacrificed themselves so you and the rest would be safe! Are you really going to let his death be in vain? Are you? Get your shit together, (f/n)! Be brave, just for a while! _I mentally screamed to myself and my grip around the rope tightened.

The four of us catches up the titan and were now right behind him. The titan was swaying his arms and head from side to side in animalistic speed.

"I'll draw the titan's attention by hooking into it. Isabel, Farlan, you two break his knees and cut off its mobility. (f/n), you cut his nape. Is it understood?" Levi informed. It wasn't a question, I had to do it.

I gave a stiff nod to Levi and furrowed my brows to concentrate on the titan.

Levi rose to his feet and stood on his horse's back. He shot his hooks to the titans back and dug both of his swords into its back. The titan shook his whole body trying to shake Levi off.

"DO IT NOW!" he commanded. Isabel and Farlan rose to their feet and mimicked Levi's previous movements. They both shot their hook at the titans behind and flew between the titans legs. With a swift turn from both of them, they cut off the titan's knees.

_It's my turn._ I thought and rose to my feet.

I zapped threw the air and locked my eyes on my destination, the nape. The titan has fell down to its knees and his head was faced down. The nape was clear.

I was about 4 meters over the nape diagonally to the left. I tilted my body slightly to the left and my body started spinning in the sky. The speed was over the limit for any normal person, but to me, I was used to it. Normally, I would go even faster.

While spinning I dove down to the nape and cut it out with one swift movement. I landed gracefully on the grass right beside the titan and froze.

The nearby soldiers were all staring at me, their eyes filled with amazement and shock. They knew I was skilful when it came to 3DMG usage. But what I just showed them was way over the top.

Levi walked up to me and patted my back. He then left me to check up on Isabel and Farlan who were arguing over who made a better cut to the titan's knee.

I was about to go to them when I was stopped by Erwin who was sitting on a cinnamon-coloured horse.

"That's amazing, (f/n). You are really talented and handy with the 3DMG. I look forward to work with you." He said with a smile.

_Don't get your hopes up. I'll be gone long before you have the chance to work with me, you blonde bastard. _I thought bitterly but smiled to Erwin. _Just wait….I'll be the one chopping your head off. _


	11. Ruins

~Chapter 11 - Ruins~

The long lines of soldiers were exhausted, just like me. The sky was just as heavenly as this morning and the clouds were just as peaceful. We were riding uphill to an old ruin that was located right on top of the hill. One side of the hill was a steep which lead to more grass plains. Small bushes were seen and the sun was hiding behind the cloud.

_If only I could hide behind the clouds. _I thought miserably to myself.

The outside world was just as bad as the underground, at least in the underground we didn't need to be afraid of being eaten alive.

The ruins neared and the mumbles around me got louder. People were started to get worried, especially the newbies. They wondered if they really could be safe in a ruin.

_You're not safe anywhere, my friend. _I thought and snorted.

When we reached the ruins, I got off my horse and tied him to a wooden pillar so he wouldn't be able to run away. I filled a bucket with water and laid it in front of him. Farlan, Isabel and Levi did the same. After that, we went into the ruins to find ourselves a decent place to spend the night. After a nearly half an hour of searching and Isabel disapproving all of the places, we settled down on one side of the wall right under a window.

We each pulled out a blanket and neatly placed it on the hard stone floor; we sat down on the blankets and sighed of relief. We survived.

The others were sitting in groups talking and laughing with each other, as if what happened a few hours ago had no significance.

_What SHOULD they do then? Mourn? Then the whole Recon Corps would spend the whole time mourning the dead. You have to push on and use their sacrifice to gain what we want. _I snorted loudly at my own thought.

Levi gave me a confused look but I waved it away.

"Anyways, Farlan, are you sure that blondie is carrying the documents?" Levi asked after a while of silence.

We have known Erwin for a few months now, but Levi never bothered using his real name and called him Blondie, but only with us, of course.

"Yes, I'm sure of it." Farlan lowered his voice. "Before when I snuck into his room, I searched all suspicious places, but nothing was found. I then saw a desk that opens with a key; I opened it with a tool. It was full secret documents, but the one we needed was not there. So he has to be carrying it around with him."

Farlan gestured with his finger to make us move closer.

"I just saw Erwin and the commander go that way" He pointed at a corridor. "Isabel and I will search through his belongings when he is away. I want you and (f/n) to watch that corridor and keep them busy if they come this way until I give you a signal. Ok?"

"Busy…" Levi said and put on a fake thoughtful look "Even if it means fighting?"

"Don't cause a ruckus. And no matter what happens, don't kill anyone. If we lose the commander on an expedition it'll be a big problem for all of us." Farlan said as he rose to his feet and left me and Levi alone.

Levi and I leaned against the said corridor with our heads hanging down to our chests. Footsteps where heard and we both rose our head to identify who it was. Erwin. Dammit, couldn't he just do whatever he was doing for a few more minutes? I'm really not in the mood to entertain someone right now.

Erwin walked up to us with a folder tucked under his right arm.

"What are you two doing here? Where are your other subordinates?" He asked.

"They are not my subordinates." Levi answered simply and went back to starring the floor.

"I see." Erwin replied.

A pregnant silence taking place in the corridor and the fact that Farlan and Isabel wasn't here made it worse.

"What do you think so far? Getting used to the Recon Corps?" Erwin asked trying to start a small conversation.

"Everyone is hot-faced and won't shut the hell up about titans." Levi said.

When the word 'titan' was pronounced by Levi, it felt like a sword just stabbed me in my chest.

"Are you alright, (f/n)?" Erwin asked seeing me flinch.

"I'm fine. Thanks for asking." I said casually, I pulled both my arms to my back and my right hand grasped tightly at my left wrist.

"Ok. Back to what you said Levi, of course, the Recon corps appeals and is made up with those kinds of people."

Silence, again. The pain in my chest caused by the overwhelming emotions grew for every second that went. The room started to turn and my body was heating up.

"Are you sure you're alright? You look awfully pale…" Erwin asked.

"I-I'm fine. Just a bit dehydrated. I'll go drink, sir." I said and managed to plaster on a convincing smile.

I gave Levi an apologizing look and left the two of them alone behind me as I hurried away. I didn't go to the food and water supply room. Instead, I ran up the stairs as fast as I could and as soon as the cold breeze hit my face, a single tear dropped to the stone floor.


	12. Nightingale

~Chapter 12 - Nightingale~

_-Flashback-_

"_Levi! You said you got me a present!" I yelled excitedly when I saw Levi enter from the main door._

"_Stop nagging or I'll reconsider about giving you this present." Levi said and sat down to the couch._

_He pulled his right leg over his left just like he used to. I giggled and started clapping. _

"_Stop it." He said with the same bored tone. _

_I jumped onto my tiny legs and ran to him. I then hugged his slim legs and looked up at him trying to make puppy eyes. _

_He tch-ed and looked away. I knew this would work. _

"_Stop it." He repeated still looking away. _

_I continued looking at him with puppy eyes and tugged lightly at his pants to get his attention. I succeeded. As soon as his eyes lay on my face, he groaned in frustration. Levi placed his right hand under his cloak and slowly pulled out a book and handed it to me. _

"_Happy 6__th__ birthday." He said with a tiny smile. If you didn't look hard enough, you would've easily missed it. _

_I carefully took the book since this was the first book I ever laid my hands on. _

_"What does it say, Levi-sir?" I asked and pointed at the letters that were written on the front page. _

"_You know what happens when you say that, (f/n); don't make mistakes if you know already it's a mistake." He said. _

"_Ok, Levi. I won't do it again." I said and giggled slightly. _

"_To answer your question, it says, 'Lyrics and notes to beautiful songs'." Levi explained. _

_I smiled widely as I opened the first page. _

"_Please teach me how to read, Levi."_

_-Time skip till the age of 13-_

"_Without you, I feel broke ~_

_Like I'm half of a whole~_

_Without you, I've got no hand to hold~_

_Without you, I feel torn~_

_Like a sail in a storm~_

_Without you, I'm just a sad song~_

_I'm just a sad song~"_

_As my voice went silence, a smile grew on my lips. That was my favourite song from the book that Levi had given me on my 6__th__ birthday. _

_During the 7 years that had past, I would spend every last minute of free time singing, and now, I can all the 84 songs in the book by heart._

_I could sense Levi's presence. I slowly turned around and just as I expected, Levi was there leaned against the stone wall. _

"_Again?" He asked. _

_I giggled at his remark._

"_It's my favourite." I replied. _

"_I think I would know that by now." He said._

_I turned my head back and faced the opposite direction of Levi. I was on the roof of the hide-out that Levi, Isabel, Farlan and I lived in. Here, on the roof, I had the perfect view over the whole Underground District. _

"_You have a nice voice, like a Nightingale." Levi said. "Don't attract anyone, I'm going in."_

_With that, Levi walked down the stairs to out hide-out._

_A Nightingale you say…_

_-End of flashback-_

**~(A/N - I'd like to start off with thanking everyone that has read, reviewed, favourited or followed this fanfic. It means alot to me and i'm extremely grateful. This is my very first fanfic and i have enjoyed myself writing this so far for you guys. The song that was i used is 'Sad Song by We the kings featuring Elena Coats'. Hope you've enjoyed reading this story so far, and thanks again.)~**


	13. Forget How To Sing

~Chapter 13 - Forget how to sing~

"_You and I,_

_We're like fireworks and symphonies exploding in the sky._

_With you, I'm alive_

_Like all the missing pieces of my heart, they finally collide._

_So stop time right here in the moonlight, _

_Cause I don't ever wanna close my eyes. _

_Without you, I feel broke_

_Like I'm half of a whole_

_Without you, I've got no hand to hold_

_Without you, I feel torn_

_Like a sail in a storm_

_Without you, I'm just a sad song_

_I'm just a sad song_

_With you I fall_

_It's like I'm leaving all my past in silhouettes up on the wall_

_With you I'm a beautiful mess_

_It's like we're standing hand in hand with all our fears up on the edge_

_So stop right here in the moonlight,_

_Cause I don't ever wanna close my eyes_

_Without you, I feel broke_

_Like I'm half of a whole_

_Without you, I've got no hand to hold_

_Without you, I feel torn_

_Like a sail in a storm_

_Without you, I'm just a sad song_

_You're the perfect melody_

_The only harmony_

_I wanna hear_

_You're my favourite part of me_

_With you standing next to me_

_I've got nothing to fear_

_Without you, I feel broke_

_Like I'm half of a whole_

_Without you, I've got no hand to hold_

_Without you, I feel torn_

_Like a sail in a storm_

_Without you, I'm just a sad song_

_Without you, I feel broke_

_Like I'm half of a whole_

_Without you, I've got no hand to hold_

_Without you, I feel torn_

_Like a sail in a storm_

_Without you, I'm just a sad song_

_I'm just a sad song_"

As the last tone from the song went silent, I tilted my head upward and stared at the stars. Tiny rain drops fell onto my face.

"It's been a while; I thought you forgot how to sing." Levi's voice echoed through my ears.

At first I thought it was my mind playing a game with me, but when I turned around, I saw Levi's serious face meeting mine.

I forced a smile. He noticed. Levi walked up to me and surprisingly, he wrapped his arms around me.

This is one of the traits I loved about Levi. He didn't need to hear you say how you felt, he just now it and he'll do anything to get what you needed the most at that time.

What I needed at that time was someone to comfort me and listen to me when I talk. And that was exactly what he did.

As soon as his arms were wrapped tightly around my waist, tears were building up with incredible speed. I bended down slightly, due to my tall height, and placed my face onto his shoulder. Within seconds, shirt got wet, but he didn't complain. He just held me tightly as I cried and cried and cried until I had no tears left to shed. But the emotions and guilt where still trapped inside. I decided to open the cork to my overly filled emotion jar and spill everything to Levi.

I told him everything I had in mind.

I told him about me feeling disgusted with myself that I this morning even felt excited to leave the wall. How could I feel excited to go see people getting eaten alive by human-looking giants?

I told him about me not being strong enough to help the 3 soldiers that obviously needed help.

I told him about me not helping those in need and how selfish I was to only think about my own safety.

I told him about how it was my fault that they were dead and that they would probably be alive if I had done something.

I told him about how the horror that were shown on their faces just seconds before they were devoured haunted me each time I shut my eyes even if it was just to blink and that the sound of their horrible screams have been ringing through my ears ever since I heard them.

Levi listened; he didn't interrupt at any point claiming that it wasn't my fault, which would be something normal people would have done. But he waited until I had no more words to speak before he opened his mouth.

"No matter what kind of wisdom dictates you the option you should pick, no one will be able to tell if it's right or wrong till you arrive to some sort of outcome, resulting from your choice. The only thing we are allowed to do is to believe that we won't regret the choice we made."

**~(Songs: Sad Song by We the kings featuring Elena Coats)~**


	14. Storm Clouds

~Chapter 14 - Storm Clouds~

"Do you see that?" Isabel asked and stared up to the sky.

"Yes. Storm clouds are gathering." Levi replied.

Indeed it was. The sky that was heavenly blue just a few seconds ago was now covered with a thick layer of black-grey clouds.

"What should we do?" I asked a bit worried.

The clouds did not look friendly.

Suddenly, a loud noise was heard, and just a few seconds later, it started to pour. The rain hit our faces and made it fell like thin needles cutting into our skin, it made us temporarily blind.

"Dammit! I can't see in this rain!" Farlan yelled and tried to use his arm to block the rain.

"DON'T BREAK THE FORMATION, USE THE HOODS!" Fragon yelled back.

All on us pulled up our hoods as far front as it went, surprisingly, it blocked out the worst part of the rain.

We continued to ride our horses through the rain and soon, Fragon and Sayram disappeared into the fog.

"Hey! What are we going to do now? We've lost sight of everyone!" Isabel complained.

"Just keep on moving forward! That's the only thing we can do. I'm sure we haven't gone too far from the rest of the squad." Farlan answered.

We continued to go forward.

"I'm getting the documents alone." Levi said breaking the silence.

"What! NO! I'm following…" I protested.

"No, you, Isabel and Farlan are going to stay behind. Stay alive and protect each other. I'll go take the documents myself. Besides, the one that's going to kill him is me; I won't let a damn titan get him first." With that, Levi galloped forward and left us behind speechless.

When Levi was out of our sight, I turned my head to Farlan and Isabel who were on my right.

"He'll be back. I'm sure he will." I said

"Yah! Big bro would never leave us!" Isabel exclaimed cheerfully and smiled.

As we continued to ride thorough the pouring rain, our mood started to sink. Seconds turned to minutes and the fog hasn't eased up a bit. That's when we saw many big, tall figures right in front of us and on the sides.

_Titans…._


	15. Attack

~Chapter 15 - Attack~

"Sayram! Don't move! I'll get you out of there!" Fragon yelled from the ground.

He was sitting on a horse riding away from a 3 meter class titan that had been chasing him for a while. Sayram was in the mouth of a titan; his legs were inside the mouth while his torso, head and arms are outside. Blood formed a thin stream that dripped from the corner of his mouth and his eyes were tearing.

"Squad leader! Don't come any closer! Please, just get out of here!"

"SAYRAM!"

"Take care of yourself! I'll see you on the other s-"

Before Sayram could finish his sentence, the titan smacked his hand on his mouth and squished Sayram.

"SAYRAM!" Fragon shrieked as loud as he was able to.

Blood was smeared onto the titan's grinning face as he bent down to get Fragon.

Isabel, Farlan and I were riding on our horses as close as we could to each other. Fragon in the middle, I was to the left and Isabel to the right.

The fog grew thicker and made it harder to see. And suddenly, a titan appeared right in front of us.

Isabel and I turned to the sides but Farlan was stuck. He pulled onto the rope desperately trying to make the horse turn, only resulting the horse to fall onto its side. Farlan's left leg was stuck under the horse and the titan was nearing.

As the titan reached out to seize Farlan, I quickly jumped off of my horse and ran to Farlan to try to push the horse off of him while Isabel took care of the titan. Isabel sliced of the titans fingers and aimed for the nape.

She missed.

The titan jumped up to its feet and the movement caused Isabel to slip. The hook kept her attached to the titan on its back.

Farlan and I sat on the muddy floor as we saw another titan approach Isabel.

The second titan bent down and opened its jaws.

"Bi….Big…Bro-"

She was quieted down by the titan.

"Isabel….Isabel….Isabel….ISABEL!" I started off whispering my deceased friend but I ended up yelling.

I rose to my feet.

The second titan had pushed the first one onto the floor and were now both starring straight at me and Farlan. Blood smeared all over its face.

"YOU FUCKING BASTARD! I'LL KILL YOU!" I shrieked with anger as I pulled out my swords. I activated my 3DMG and flew towards the nape of the titan within one second; I had sliced out the nape. I did the same to the titan underneath.

When I looked up again I saw Fragon. He was facing Farlan and didn't notice the titan behind him.

"BEHIND YOU!" I screeched, but it was too late.

The titan behind Fragon had token hold of him and Fragon's head was now between the teeth of the titan.

Farlan and I stood and watched as Fragon got devoured. None of us had the bravery to move and stared at Fragon's killer like hypnotised.

"FARLAN!" I yelled when I saw a titan behind him on the way to grab him.

Farlan activated his 3DMG, but it malfunctioned, leaving him helpless in front of the titan.

Farlan was raised by the titan, he didn't struggle a bit. His horror filled eyes and my scared eyes met and for a short second, his dry lips turned into a smile and he waved slightly to me.

His body was lowered into the titan's mouth, only the legs were outside.

Suddenly, out of the fog, Levi came out and sliced of the titan's hand. But it was too late; the titan had already taken a bite and Farlan's lifeless leg fell down to the muddy ground.

Anger bubbled up within me which gave me new power. I pushed the thoughts of Isabel and Farlan away for the moment, Levi was here. He'll help me. He'll save us. He has come back for us.

I turned around and saw around 4 20-30 meter class titan loiter around searching for preys to sink their teeth in.

_I'm going to kill you all; you are all going to die by my hands…_

I shot my hooks towards the closest titan. The hooks landed on either side of his face. I prepared my swords while I was zapping through the air and shoved the blades straight into the titan's eyes. As it roared in pain, I attached new blades to my handle and flew to the next titan and sliced the nape of it.

As I was slicing the second titan, the third reached its hand to me. I shot my hooks to his neck and swirled in a circle as I cut of his fingers and made wounds from his arm all the way to the neck. I made a quick turn to the right, still twirling, and cut of his nape. His head slacked down to the nape due to his neck muscles were broken.

One titan left, it was the one that I had shoved blades into. I fastened my pace as I walked to the titan. He was covering his injured eyes with his palms.

"Hey, asshole! How does humans taste?" I asked. "C'mon, were they tasty? Did you enjoy eating them?" I was standing on the titan's nape now. I gave a few hard kicks with the heel of my boots onto the nape and the titan whimpered. "Answer me you shit-faced bastard."

The titan continued to whimper and made painful noises. Tired of seeing the titan alive, I sliced out the nape and rode the titan on its back as it fell to the ground face-first.

I jumped of the titan; steam from fallen titan's built a barrier that prevented me from seeing where I was.

The rain was still pouring, but not as much as it used to be.

One thought circled around my head, more precisely, 3 names.

_Isabel, Farlan, Levi…_


	16. Sing For Me

~Chapter 16 - Sing For Me~

When I had jumped down from the titan, I saw a ball-looking figure on the floor just a few meters away. As I neared it, my heartbeat got faster and faster and soon all I could hear was my own heartbeat.

When I reached the 'ball', I screamed in horror. It was Isabel, it was Isabel's head.

I fell down to my knees; tears ran down my cheeks like two waterfalls.

"Isabel...no...Please no..." I whimpered between my sobs.

Her wine red hair was blood soaked and around her head on the muddy ground was a big pool of blood. Her lips were slightly parted and a thin stream of blood that had dried was on her chin. Isabel's once lively green orbs were now lifeless and dark.

I reached my hand out to her face and stroked her cheek one last time as I murmured to her barely audible.

"I'm so sorry, Isabel, I'm so sorry."

Gently, I wiped my hand over her eyes and made them shut.

I sat there for a few more seconds, staring at her sleeping, lifeless face while murmuring that I was sorry.

The fog had lightened. I saw Levi around 10 meters away, he was on his knees as well.

_Farlan!_

I got up to my feet and gave Isabel a last look. I then ran as fast my legs could carry to them.

Levi heard my steps and rose to his feet as well. The next thing I remembered was Levi hugging me tightly. I stood there confused over his sudden movements, but the look on his face explained everything.

He thought he had lost me too, he thought he had lost everyone he cared for.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and nuzzled my face into his wet raven black hair.

After a few seconds, I loosened my grip and asked where Farlan was.

Levi's eyes darkened even more as he nodded his head to his left and I saw Farlan lying on the ground. His eyes were barely opened and his left leg was bitten off.

I went down onto my knees and pulled his head onto my lap. His blood discoloured my already muddy white tights. His silver eyes widened a bit and the corner of his mouth twitched upwards.

"sing…..for me….." He whispered between painful gasps.

I nodded as my tears dropped together with the rain onto his pale face.

The lyrics to his favourite song went through my mind. I choked down my sobs and started to sing.

"_When the sun shines, we'll shine together_

_Told you I'd be here forever_

_Said I'll always be a friend_

_Took an oath I'ma stick it out 'til the end_

_Now that it's raining more than ever_

_Know that we'll have each other_

_You can stand under my umbrella_

_You can __stand under my um-__…brella…._" My voice died out as a memory attacked my head. "I never got the chance to sing those songs for you."

"yea…."

Farlan's eyes were slowly shutting. His breathes grew fewer and fewer. The edges' of his lips twitched upwards as he took his last breathe.

He had died in my arms.

Levi wrapped his arms around me from behind as my sobs grew louder. He dug his face into my back. and his warm breath comforted me.

The mourning moment was quickly interrupted by a voice that belonged to the man I least wanted to see.

"Hey, are there any survivors. Levi, (f/n)! Are you two the only one that survived? These titan remains from the road and all the way here, did you guys kill them yourselves?" Erwin asked.

I gently put Farlan's head on the floor as if he's as fragile as glass. With the speed of light, I lunged myself to Erwin and threw him to the ground. He landed on the shoulder with a loud thump as I pulled out my swords and placed one of them onto his right shoulder. The edge of my sword gently touched his skin.

"Erwin, I'm going to fucking kill you. That's the only reason we're still here." I said in a deadly monotone.

**~(Song: Umbrella by Rihanna and Jay Z)~**


	17. Umbrella

~Chapter 17 - Umbrella~

_-Flashback-_

"_This one's nice, I mean the lyrics. I can't read the notes." Farlan said as he pointed on one of the pages. _

_I walked over to him. He was sitting on his usual place on the couch, on the right side, and my book with song lyrics and notes was opened to one page on his lap. _

"_Ahh, that's a nice one." I said as I dropped down beside him on the couch._

"_This song is about friendship, I love it. It makes me think of us, ya' know, 'bout how we stick with each other at our highs and lows. A bit cheesy, I know, but I love it, the chorus you know? Can you sing it?"_

_I laughed slightly; he was just as entertaining. _

_"When the sun shines, we shine together_

_Told you I'd be here forever_

_Said I'd always be a friend_

_Took an oath I'ma stick it out 'til the end_

_Now that it's raining more than ever_

_Know that we'll still have each other_

_You can stand under my umbrella_

_You can stand under my umbrella"_

"_The notes are great! I love it so much! Wow….." Farlan breathed and smiled widely_

"_Yeah..."_

"_I think this is going to be my favourite."_

"_But you haven't heard the rest…."_

"_Then let's make a promise, then. You have to promise me to sing all, and I mean ALL, 84 songs to me." _

_"Promise." _

_-End of flashback-_

**~(Song: Umbrella by Rihanna and Jay Z)~**


	18. Are You Ready

~Chapter 18 - Are you ready~

"Back off, both of you." I warned as I tilted my head to the side to get a better look of Erwin who was on his knees staring into the mud preoccupied with thoughts.

Levi and Mike kept their distance with their swords ready. Both of them knew I wouldn't hesitate killing him, especially now when I'm mentally unstable due to my friends death.

The time stood still. The rain was still pouring, but not as much as it did a few minutes ago. Dark clouds were still covering the friendly sky and the sun was hiding somewhere behind it.

Erwin glanced at me and looked straight into my furious and murderous (e/c) eyes.

"Your friends…must have died…." He made a short paus as he sank his eyes back to the ground again. "I see…"

"Don't you DARE talk about them… You don't give a single FUCK about them, now shut the FUCK up or I'll dig your shitty eyes out!" I roared as I pushed the sword slowly into his neck to make the pain last longer.

My lips widened into a creepy smile as I saw a thin stream of pure red blood dirtying my blade. I wanted to torture him, slowly and painfully until he dies a horrible death, because he deserved it.

"I'm going to fucking kill you, Erwin, you big asshole. I should've done that long ago…."

"(f/n), calm down."

I kept the blade in as I spoke to Levi blankly.

"Why, Levi? Why should I calm down? Why not just kill this bastard, take the fucking documents and leave?"

"(F/N)!"

"HE KILLED ISABEL AND FARLAN, LEVI! HE SENT THEM TO THEIR DEATHS!" I gasped for air as the cursed words left my mouth. I've never thought I'd be able to say those haunting words out loud. When I was sure my voice would carry, I continued. "Now if you two take one more step I'm not going to think twice on wither I should spare him or not"

The footsteps went silent. They must have stood still now.

Erwin placed his hand under his green cape and pulled out a white envelope with a red mark on it.

"These are the documents you are looking for."

He opened the envelope and pulled out the content and made it drop to the mud.

I fell onto my knees and shuffled the documents to me. My swords were beside me on the ground uselessly.

"These are blank…What the fuck did you do to it?"

"I'm sorry I took so long."

"What the fuck are you telling me?" My eyes were still stuck on the blank documents, hoping that words would appear on them magically.

"It was a bluff."

_It was a bluff. It was a bluff. It was a bluff. It was a bluff. It was all just a big prank. A bluff! _

My body started to shake. It was a bluff. Erwin knew about our mission to get our hands on those documents. He had planned it all.

"(f/n)?" Levi's voice echoed in my ears.

I kept my eyes straight forward and my face was expressionless. I couldn't feel anything. My body was limp and my head hung low. The three of them stared at me and was wondering wither to help me or not.

Suddenly, I got up onto my feet with the same expression on my face and walked away.

"(f/n)!"

Someone called for me, I couldn't recognize the voice. I blocked out all sounds, all feelings, everything.

I walked up to the nearest tree and sat down, leaning my back against it. And as soon as I gave a sigh in defeat, the thoughts and feelings started attacking me.

Why in hell would he send the four of us out here if he knew all about it? Why didn't he tell us a long time ago? Was the death of Farlan and Isabel needed for his little show?

_That bastard…_

I didn't know how long I sat there, under the tree, protected by the leaves from the rain that was still pouring down. Streams were built and the water was racing to lower grounds.

I haven't cried since Isabel and Farlan. I didn't felt like crying. I felt like _killing _and _destroying_.

Before I could get up to my feet and search for any living creature to kill, I saw Levi. He was walking towards me with Erwin and Mike just a few meters behind him.

"(f/n), what the fuck did you think you were doing?"

I didn't answer. My eyes were on outlook for a prey.

"Hey, I'm talking to you."

I still didn't answer.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you. I expect an answer."

"Why are they still alive?" I finally spoke up, but not to answer his question. I was simply not in the mood. Erwin and Mike were out of range to hear what I had to say, to my disappointment.

"We are joining the Survey Corps."

"I thought we were in the Survey Corps already."

"No we weren't. Let's go."

"I'm not leaving. You go." I said and turned my back to him.

"Stop acting like a damn brat and get your ass of the filthy ground. I'm not cleaning your shitty uniform."

"Did I ask for you to clean it? You go join that god damn Survey Corps. I'm not moving a single fucking millimetre form here." My arms were crossed and lips pouted. I knew I looked like a child, but I couldn't care less at that time.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"What the fuck is wrong with me?" I stood up aggressively and pointed a finger at my chest as I spoke in disbelief.

"What the fuck is wrong with me?" I repeated and gave a joyless laugh. "You are the one that suddenly came back and wanted to join the Survey Corps! Erwin sent us to the titans, even though he knew about our mission to get those god damn documents, and now you want to join and even help them?" I gave another joyless laugh and stared right into his grey eyes.

"It's not Erwin's fault that Farlan and Isabel died. Nor is it my or even your fault. It's those god damn titans' fault! It was them that killed Isabel and Farlan!"

"And now you're protecting them also." I shook my head.

"I'm the one with the facts so do me a favour and listen to me instead of cutting me off the whole time." He grabbed my shoulders and forced me to look at him.

"What other choice do we have? Either we join them and make a change to this world or we go back to the undergrounds and live like rats until we die. We can change things here; it's two of us and the Survey Corps against the titans. We can do it, and we will not let sacrifices go in vain."

My lips trembled. I knew when he said, sacrifices, he meant Isabel and Farlan.

There was nothing more I wanted then to revenge Isabel and Farlan, my childhood friends and family. But am I really ready to get myself out there and face the titans again? Am I ready to see more blood, gore and death all around me? Am I ready to take part and save humanity with my soon-to-be comrades?

I nodded, not trusting my voice. Levi looked straight into my eyes and gave a sly smile.

Yes, I'm ready.

**~(AN - Hi! One reviewer had told me that they wanted me to increase the length of my chapters. It might not be so much longer than my other chapters but i've tried my best and made a stop somewhere appropriate. I've rewritten this chapter a few times to make it not as much of a failure as it used to be, so i hope you guys enjoy it.)~**


	19. Wrong Choice

~Chapter 19 - Wrong Choice~

The trip back was quiet. I haven't said a word to Erwin and Mike after my breakdown and close attempt on murdering him. We were around 100 soldiers when we left. There were only around 20 survivors that made out of this expedition alive.

I stayed close to Levi the whole time on my horse not leaving him out of my sight. Soon enough, the wall Maria showed up and I sighed both in relief and disappointment. I wanted to get back into the walls and feel the safety the walls provided, but I disliked the trapped feeling. I battled with myself on wither I liked or disliked the walls but it ended in a tie.

The bell on the wall rang to inform the citizens that the Survey Corps returning. The gate slowly opened and we rode into the Shiganshina district. This time, Levi and I were in the front of the line so we get to enter the district with Erwin, Mike and commander Shadis.

The district was crowded. Many people and citizens were standing along the road to look at us. I heard mumbles about how we failed again spread like wildfire among them and soon that was all I heard. I even heard someone talking about me, a kid, and already out of the walls seeing people get killed.

The soldiers that survived were mostly bandaged up, some were so severely injured they had to be transported on a trailer. Most of the soldiers had a blank expression on their faces, due to the amount of expeditions they've been on, others, the first-timers, were crying silently for themselves at the horror they've seen outside the walls.

I swept my empty eyes among the citizens' faces to see if I could recognize anyone, which of course I didn't. But there was one person, more like one kid, that caught my eye. He was short and stood on some wooden boxes to be able to see us in the crowd. He had messy chocolate hair and a pair of emerald green orbs.

_Just like Isabel…_

I shook the thought away as our eyes met for a short second. His lips spread into bright smile as if he just met his idol.

I returned a small smile back and turned away from him.

Suddenly, commander Shadis stopped. An old woman had run out onto the street and blocked the way.

"Brown! Brown! Where are you?"

She looked desperately among the survivors, not finding Brown. She must be Brown's mother.

When she saw Commander Shadis get of his horse, she ran up to him and down onto her knees.

"Excuse me…I can't….Brown…my son Brown…Where is he? What happened to him?"

She clutched onto his cape and tried to drag him down to see her in eye-level.

"This is Brown's mom…Bring it here…" Shadis said and faced a soldier that was nearby.

The soldier walked to a nearby trailer and opened a square tent-looking box and took out something that was wrapped in cloth. He walked back to the mother and gave it to her with darkened eyes.

"Here. Sorry, but that's all we were able to recover."

The mother took the clothed item in her trembling arms. She gently opened the cloth and inside, was a bloody arm.

She wrapped the arm with the cloth again and hugged it tightly against her chest. She dug her face into the blue cloth and let her tears go. Her sobs were so loud that you could hear it from the whole Shiganshina district.

After her sobbing had grown lesser and her captivity of speaking has returned, she looked commander Shadis and said.

"My son has been useful hasn't he? He doesn't have to be anything outstanding! He contributed! His death contributed towards humankind's retaliation, has it not?"

When the woman asked the unexpected question, Shadis was completely taken aback.

Everyone stood still and stared at the chaos that was going on the street.

"O-of course…" Shadis mumbled after a moment of silence.

The ride was silent. I threw a few looks towards Levi a little now and then to make sure he was still there.

Suddenly, a loud "bang" made us all stop and look back. The sky was all foggy, or was it dusty? I couldn't make out. Loud shriek like in a choir was heard which sent chills up all our spines.

_What's going on?_

I looked at Commander Shadis' worried face. Wrinkles were deep and it looked like someone had cut it into his skin.

"We'll continue. It mustn't be something important. Maybe a canon failure." He turned his head and started his horse. His face was doubtful and worried about his choice.

We didn't question him, and did as we were told.

_Yeah, it must have been a canon failure. What else could have happened?_

The wooden door to the canteen was kicked opened with a lot of force. The door slammed to the wall and in the door frame stood a young panting man with a horrified look on his face. His brown cape, that signified that he was a messenger boy, was wet due to the rain and his legs were all muddy. He must've ridden on a horse here in top speed.

"Commander Shadis, sir, urgent news from the Shiganshina district." He exclaimed as he saluted the commander.

Commander Shadis rose from his bench and dismissed the salute with a tense wave.

"What news?" He asked.

"Wall Maria has been breached. The Shiganshina district was the first district to get affected."

It was all silent. Horror and regret was written all over Shadis' face. He had made the wrong choice.

"How….many?" He managed to get out.

He was sweating heavily and was fidgeting all over.

"We don't know yet. But around 1/5 of the citizens were slaughtered, sir."

"O-ok, you are dismissed. Thank you."

The young man nodded and left the room.

"Now that was a mess." I exhaled as I dropped onto Levi's bed.

"What was?" Levi asked as he sat down beside me.

"Everything. I mean like, just this morning, everything was just fine. And now, Wall Maria has been breached, many people were killed and they…they aren't here anymore."

"Hey, hey, hey! Nothing is going to improve if you keep thinking like that. Now get to bed and sleep. You need to rest."

"Yeah…I guess." I chocked down a sob and gave a sad chuckle.

I got up and walked to the door, feeling Levi's stare on my back the whole time.

I turned around, smiled and wished him a good night before I left.

The rest of his comrades were all fast asleep, and even if they weren't and saw me in the male barracks, they wouldn't tell me off to our superiors.

As I walked back to the female barracks, I heard some muffled voices. Tiptoeing, I followed the noise and reached to a door that was slightly opened. I walked up to the creak and TRYCKTE my ear to it and tried to make out who were talking and what about.

I had expected that it would be hard to make out the words, but it was quite easy since it was so quiet in the HQ.

"I'm calling the Military Police. Those kind of actions are not allowed in the Survey Corps." A deep voice announced. The voice seemed familiar, but I couldn't put my finger on what his name was.

"It's my responsibility to look out for them. My mission was to make sure that they knew about the documents and make them join the Survey Corps. I have failed to keep 2 of them alive and I'm not making that mistake on the other two." Erwin. That was definitely Erwin's voice.

"She nearly killed you! If her dad dies, how would she react then? She might burn down the Head Quarters and murder us cold-bloodedly for all I know…"

"If she does so, it'll all be on me. I'll take good care of both of them and make them into excellent soldiers. Their skills are already above ours. I don't know yet how they managed to be so talented, but if we send them to the Military Police, we'll never know. Give them a chance; I surely believe they are on our side."

"I don't know, Erwin."

"As I said, I'll take full responsibility for them."

Shuffling noises neared the door. I shifted so that my body was covered by the shadows.

"Hey, Mike, would you mind doing me a small favour?"

"What favour?"

"Would you mind go to (f/n) (l/n)'s and Levi Ackerman's documents and rinse their criminal history?"

Erwin didn't wait for any answer, and walked out through the door and walked down the corridor on the contrary side from where I was standing. Luckily, he didn't notice me.

I sighed in relief and continued my way to the female barracks.


	20. Success

~Chapter 20 - Success~

-Time skip to 5 years later-

"Levi! What the hell!" I yelled as I banged his locked door with my clenched fist.

"Can you shut the hell up, brat? What do you want?" He replied with the same annoying voice as always.

"Open this god damn door, Levi! I don't have time for this!"

A sigh was heard from Levi's office and a shuffling noise got which got closer and louder until it was right on the other side of the door. A "pop" was heard as the door got unlocked and opened slightly.

"What do you want?" He repeated.

I could only see his glowing eyes from the creak. Sick of the show he was putting up, I slammed open the door and it face-platted Levi.

"What the fuck!?" Levi roared as he covered his face with his hands.

Normally, I would laugh so much I'd cry. But now, I wasn't in the mood.

"As I said, I don't have time for this. Now explain this." I threw a file of papers onto his desk and dropped down angrily onto a chair that was in front of his desk. I tapped my foot against the wooden floor impatiently as I waited for Levi to examine the files.

"You're lucky you are you, or else I would've kicked your ass so bad that you would spend the next month at the infirmary."

He picked up the files and browsed through it in the matter of seconds.

"Yeah…so?" He said after he put the files back onto the desk again.

"So?" I rose up and leaned on the desk so that our faces were only a few decimetres away from each other.

"So?" I repeated and turned my back to him and walked to the centre of the room with over-exaggerating steps.

"You took responsibility of that titan-kid without telling me?" Anger was written all over my face and I did nothing to cover it. "And apparently, you have gone to court with Erwin and beat the shit out of that poor kid in front of everyone without telling me as well. What else are you hiding from me? Do you have some magic powers that can give you super strength?"

Levi sat silent and kept his eyes on me.

"Oh hell no..."

"I do not need to tell you everything I do, do I?" He said and raised one of his slim eyebrows.

"No, you don't. But I need to know when you are going to take care of a fucking titan-kid! Who know what he's hiding? He might be a titan in disguise, and when we least suspect, BAM, he'll munch us up. Is that what you want?"

"I don't need to point out just how ridiculous you sounded. One second, you're on that brat's side and the other you're not. Get to bed; your brain is shit right now."

"I'm not a kid anymore. If you hadn't noticed yet, I'm 19." I replied as I stomped out of the room and slammed the door shut behind me.

_Still in the god damn woods. What are we supposed to do here anyways?_

My squad and Levi's squad were racing through the woods on our horses on an expedition. But this wasn't the yearly expedition.

A lot of things have happened under the past 5 years. Just a month after our first expedition, we've gotten the news that we'd be squad leaders. I was the youngest squad leader in mankind history, just at the age of 14. Levi and I were squad leaders for a squad each and were proud with our jobs.

Keith Shadis has quit his job as commander and was now trainer for training squads, due to his guiltiness to the death of 1/5 of the overall citizens, though it wasn't his fault. Erwin has taken Shadis' place as commander.

Levi has gotten attached to Erwin and now trusted him with his own life. I, on the other hand, only respected him. Levi has tried to convince me several times to forget what happened in the past and look forward instead. But every sacrifice, every bloodshed, is nagging and chewing me out from within.

And now, all that's left of me is an empty shell, and if someone handles me without care, I'll crack and a scar will forever remain.

We have been riding for half an hour now. My back was aching from sitting in the same tense position for such a long period of time.

Erwin had ordered Levi and my squad to ride this way through the woods. He never told us anything about what the meaning of this mission was and why we were out here if it wasn't for the yearly expedition.

A loud noise quieted down my mind.

_What was that?_

I turned my head to find the source of the loud noise. It sounded like one of these big trees was cracked in middle and thrown to the ground with force.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

The noise, that was obviously footsteps, grew louder and louder.

"Get your blades ready." Levi commanded and pulled out his blades. "That something will be here in a moment."

Just as he finished his sentence, a huge titan appeared between the trees. It was bigger than any I've ever seen before. It had short shoulder length blonde hair and ice blue eyes and its body consisted of exposed muscles with a few skin patches here and there. Her right hand was covering her nape.

_Wait…what?_

As the titan appeared, it threw something violently to the ground. It took me a millisecond to figure out what it was.

It was a human.

Shock and fear crept into me and took over my mind for a brief second before I reclaimed it and calmed myself.

"Trust us!" I heard Petra exclaim to Eren who had his thumb in his mouth, just about to bite.

Eren looked at her with a scared and doubtful expression. He turned away to have a look on the huge female titan that was chasing us.

"Have faith in us, Eren!" Petra pleaded.

"EREN! THAT'S TAKING TOO LONG! MAKE UP YOUR MIND ALREADY!" Levi shouted.

"I'LL KEEP GOING WITH YOU!"

Petra smiled proudly, but her eyes are filled with fear. Eren's gaze met mine. I've heard a lot of things from Levi and even eavesdropped at Erwin's conversation to get some more information about him, but this was the first time I saw him in person.

And as soon as our eyes met, everything stood still for a moment.

Those eyes….those green emerald orbs and messy chocolate brown hair reminded me of a kid that never left my mind for a single second. Eren resembled the kid I met in Shiganshina after my first expedition.

After the reach of wall Maria, I had always wondered what happened to the kid with the most gorgeous eyes I've ever seen. I've never accepted the fact that he might be dead. I don't know why, but the moment our eyes met for a brief second, he had made himself a place in my mind.

_I'll ask him later. I think he mentioned that he came from Shiganshina once…_

"Let me goooo!" A shriek was heard.

I made the mistake and looked back.

A Survey Corps soldier was captured in the hands of the female titan. She held the soldier around his waist and shoved him into the next tree she came along with. His head and some parts of his shoulders were immediately cut off from his body. It was as if the tree was sandpaper and the soldier was a worn material.

I closed my eyes and did my ritual.

_My name is (f/n) (l/n), and I'm 19 years old. I am short tempered and get pissed easily. But luckily, I have Levi and my squad to help me when I have a meltdown. I've lost….many…..people. And I will not let their deaths go in vain._

I reopened my eyes and caught Eren staring at me with a confused look. I shrugged my shoulders and ripped my eyes off of his and kept them set on the road in front of us.

_-Flashback-_

_I shrieked as loud as possible, surely waking up the whole HQ and tangled my fingers into my (h/l) (h/c) hair and violently tugged at it. I dug my face into my bed and roared even louder into the bed sheets. My tears were soaking down the sheets and made it look like I had wet the bed. _

_My sobs and screams were deafening so I didn't hear Levi get up from his bed on the other side of the room and walk to me._

"_(f/n), calm down, it's all over. You're safe with me, now calm down. Shhh….." Levi said soothingly and wrapped his arms around me. _

_He patted my back and made soft movements that calmed my nerves. _

_Another breakdown, another fucking breakdown. Is this ever going to end? If I don't stop with this, I'll become a burden. _

"_I can't…Levi. I fucking can't live like this. I….burden…..I….Please help me…." I choked back a sob and tried to calm myself down. _

_I always have a breakdown after an expedition or when I see fallen soldiers' family and friends. I can't name a single person that is not aware of it. That's why I share a room with Levi on the out-wing of the HQ, far away from the rest._

_I started having breakdowns after my first expedition out the walls. I've gone to several doctors for a check-up to see if I was healthy. They all said I was physically healthy, but not mentally due to the horror I saw at such a young age and in the condition I was in. Apparently, I was born with a weak mind and the things I saw outside the walls were too much for me. _

"_I've got an idea. Each time you get scared, insecure or delirious. Think about obvious things you know about yourself. It'll calm you down, I know."_

_I nodded shakily as I dug myself deeper into his arms. _

_I blocked out the noises and tried his idea. _

_"My name is (f/n) (l/n), and I'm 15 years old. I easily get breakdowns and Levi said this idea worked so I'm trying it out. I really hope this works. I don't want to be a burden for the others. Please, let this work."_

_The thought went on repeat over and over. And soon, after what felt like forever, I fell asleep in Levi's arms. _

_That was the first night in ages I didn't cry myself to sleep, and the next morning, I didn't wake up with tear-stained cheeks and puffy red eyes from the tears. It worked. _

_-End of Flashback-_

"THE TARGET IS ACCELERATING!" Elmira, a female from my squad, yelled.

"FULL SPEED AHEAD! KEEP GOING AS FAST AS YOU CAN!"

We continued forward not daring to look back. I saw Eren mentally debating whether to turn into a titan or not.

But before he could make the decision, I heard a loud growl that belonged to no one else but Commander Erwin Smith himself.

"FIRE!" He roared with a majestic voice.

Thousands of strong arrows with metal rope attached to it were shot at the female titan. I took a last glance at the captured titan before the smoke covered it up.

"Tether the horses up ahead, and then switch to 3DMG. This time I'll be taking care action separately from the rest of you. I'll leave (f/n) to command my squad." Levi informed. "Keep a safe distance away from the titan and hide Eren. And take care of my horse." He added before he flew back towards the dusty mess behind us.

The only sound that was heard was the hooves from the horses clasping the ground.

I turned to face my and Levi's squad members. All of them had shocked and surprised look on their faces, but were soon exchanged to triumphs.

"So how was that, Eren? Now you see? We just captured that titan alive!" Günther exclaimed triumphantly.

"This is the power of the Survey Corps! Don't you ever underestimate us, you dumbass! Get it now?" Auruo with a mocking tone.

I exchanged smiles with my own squad mates and laughed with them at out victory.

_Finally, a success on one of our expeditions, I can't wait for the results. _


	21. Or Was It

~Chapter 21 - Or was it...~

A success, finally, we have made some progress.

I jumped around as the playful person I am and giggled with my squad.

There were very few peoples in this world that were close to me. In fact, the only ones are my squad, consisting of Elmira, Anja, Claudia, Dominik and Leon; Levi and Hanji.

My squad and I are all celebrating. We aren't called the T.I.E. squad without a reason. T.I.E. stood for take it easy. Though we do not take it easy during training and expedition, but all of us had childlike personalities; which was why Erwin made us into one squad.

"When we get home, we're soooo having a party! Oh my god!" Claudia exclaimed enthusiastically.

"Hell yeah! CELEBRATION! YEAAAH!" I replied as I threw my fist into the air merrily.

Suddenly, a loud roar was heard. We all were taken aback and gave each other confused gazes.

"What was that?" Anja asked nervously. The smile on her face had disappeared the second she heard the roar.

"You're so stupid. We were all here the whole time. Don't expect us to know." Auruo snapped cockily.

"Auruo! Stop acting so high and majestic. Now apologise to her!" Petra scolded with a hard-set face.

"As if I would…"

"I swear, one day, karma will get you for all you've done."

"Guys, stop arguing. It won't solve anything." I interacted. Levi did give their responsibility to me, and I have to make him proud. "Let's wait here. The roar seemed to come from quite far away from here. Let's wait for a while in case Levi gives any orders."

We dropped down onto the thick branches quietly.

I slowly closed my eyes for some peace, but was interrupted by a question.

"Squad Leader (f/n)?" Eren asked, fidgeting slightly.

"Yea?" I replied with a slight annoyance.

"Umm…I have a few questions for you, sir."

"Go on."

"Yea…Well, you see" He started but the nervousness took over his ability to speak and he ended up staring into the branch as if it would tell him what to say.

"Come on, this moment won't last forever." I pep-talked.

"I saw you, in Shiganshina District on that day. It was you, right?"

I sat silent for a moment. The question was both surprising and not. I had expected this question, but I was still surprised he remembered me.

"That was probably me."

"Ours eyes met. Do you remember me? Do you?" Eren asked desperately.

I tilted my head to the side.

"It's not easy to forget a kid with your appearances. Where is this going?"

"I…I…."

I waited for him to continue, not wanting to push him though our time limits. It was obvious he was having a hard time to form sentences to express whatever he wanted to say.

"Ever since that day, I had idolized you. I looked up to you and Levi after that day. When I saw such a young person going out on expeditions, I knew that I wanted to become a soldier. Just like you."

I stared at him blankly, taken aback. I knew that there were people that idolized me and Levi. But no one has directly talked to me about it and expressed their feelings for me, unlike Levi who has gotten tons of love confessions.

I didn't know what to say. Luckily, an answer wasn't needed.

Günther jumped down from the tallest branch to the rest of us.

"The retreat signal! We're going back to where we left our horses!"

"Come on. You heard him. Let's go see for ourselves what kind of face the shithead that was riding inside that titan is making."

Without hesitating a second, all of us started out 3DMG and flew towards our goal. We were all in a good mood and for the first time on an expedition, we were relaxed. We even had a care-free chat as we flew.

"(f/n)! You know, it's been a while since we went swimming!" Dominik said.

"Hmm…yeah, you're right. We should go swimming when we get back. You guys in?" I asked excitedly.

I've always enjoyed swimming, especially if it's with my squad.

"Of course, that would be awesome! By the way, Anja, I've finally finished sewing your dress." Elmira giggled

Anja looked at Elmira wide eyed.

"What? Really? OH MY GOD! THANK YOU! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!" She exclaimed and laughed loudly.

"Get a room." Leon joked with a grin.

"Oh shut up!" Anja laughed and gave her boyfriend a playful punch on his arm.

"Ouch!" Leon exclaimed dramatically and made a volt in the air representing him falling down from the punch. "My arm, oh my!"

"GUYS! What are you, on a picnic or something? It's the outer lands here, for crying out loud!" Günther shouted. "Sorry Squad Leader (f/n)." He added when he noticed his words were meant to me as well.

"Nahh, it's nothing. I understand." I reassured and gave him a smiling nod.

All of us had a smile on our faces, or inside, and were all comfortable with the silence. Soon, we'd be home. Soon, we'll hear the good news…

"GÜNTHER!" Eren exclaimed suddenly.

I whipped my head towards the shout to see what's going on, and the sight….Oh my god.

Günther was hanging lifeless on one of his hooks that were connected to a tree. His head was loose and didn't sit properly to the neck.

"What is…?" Eren stopped beside Günther's body and stared at the body bug eyed.

"EREN, DON'T STOP! KEEP MOVING!" I commanded as I pulled onto his cape, forcing him to move forward. "PROTECT EREN!"

"WHAT DO WE DO?" Petra yelled panicky.

"Forget about the horses. We need to reach our commanders and comrades."

A loud bang was heard and smoke was gathered behind us. A second later, the female titan appeared running through the smoke.

"Oh Shit! This time, I'll fight her-"

"NO YOU WON'T!" I interrupted. "We'll are going to deal with the titan. You go ahead with to our commanders' place as fast as you can. AND DO NOT LOOK BACK! JUST KEEP ON GOING! GO!"

"YES SIR! I BELIEVE IN MY AND SQUAD LEADER (F/N)'S SQUAD'S VICTORY!" He roared before he continued forward.

The nine of us gave each other a quick nod and made a U-turn back towards the female titan.

Erd was in the front and attacked first. He prepared his swords of over his head. The female titan's hand whipped through the air and Erd managed to dodge the hit just in time.

Petra and Auruo was next in the "line" and managed to cut out its eyes when all its attention as on Erd.

The nape was covered with both of its large hands. The female titan leaned against a tree which provided more protection to its nape.

Without saying a word, all nine of us knew the plan. We were going to cut the muscles in her arm away so that the hands covering the nape would fall down. Elmira and Anja cut of the muscles in the arm and it fell lifelessly down against her sides. But the tree was still in the way.

Dominik and Claudia gave each a nod and dove down towards the neck muscles. Just a few meters away from the neck, one of the titan's ice blue eye opened and stared right at them before she opened her jaws and bit both of them the same time.

"DOMINIK! CLAUDIA!" Someone cried.

I pushed the fact that they have just got bitten in half deep down in my mind. I can't chicken out and have a breakdown here. I need to be brave and try my best to save the rest by giving right orders to devour the female titan.

The female titan got onto its feet and started chasing after those who were closest, which were Elmira, Anja and Petra. All of them had lost balance from the horrifying scene that had just placed right in front of them a second ago.

"RIGHTEN YOUR BALANCE! QUICK!" I yelled, but it was in vain.

All three of them were awestruck and couldn't think clear.

The female titan ran after them, its arms were flapping behind her like 2 oblong flags.

"PETRA! C'MON! DO IT!" Auruo yelled desperately.

I stood on a branch, studying the chaos and trying to make up orders to give. But my mind where filled with thoughts that kept distracting me.

The female titan jumped up and kicked Petra to a tree, crushing her body. Anja and Elmira managed to survive, but not for long.

Anja sat defenceless on the grass, looking straight up into the titan's eye.

"L-L-Leon…?" She stammered before she got crushed by the feet of the titan.

"ANJA!" Leon roared and zapped through the air towards the titan.

Just before Leon could end this misery, the female titan turned around and kicked Leon, sending him straight to the ground.

I was paralyzed from horror.

_Orders…give orders! Tell them to retreat! Tell them to retreat and protect Eren! Why aren't you doing it? (f/n)…? No….no…not here (f/n), not here. No break downs are allowed here outside the walls, remember? Pull yourself together, come on. _

"ERD! ELMIRA! DISTRACT THE TITAN! AURUO, AIM FOR THE NAPE!" I commanded and jumped of the branch.

Erd and Elmira did as told. They flew in front of the titan's face and tried to distract it while Auruo was behind it focusing on the nape.

The nape was clear, and Auruo noticed it too. He dove down towards the nape and sliced his sword towards the nape. I was just about to sigh in relief when I noticed that the titan was still standing up.

Within a second, I searched through my memory to replay the scene where Auruo sliced the titan's nape. The sword hit the nape, but went to pieces. The nape however had a crystal-look to it and made it look like it was hard a rock.

_How is this possible?_

I was just about to call for them to retreat when the titan regained its arms. She turned around and made a swift kick against Auruo, sending him to the ground, the same way as Leon.

I unhooked my hook and landed on the grass a bit away from the titan just in time before the titan managed to grab my wires. But Erd and Elmira wasn't as fast as I.

The female titan swung the wire around in a circle as if Erd and Elmira were toys. She walked slowly up to me with slow steps before she let go of the wire, sending them down to the ground a few meters away from me.

They're body were ill-formed from the high speed they had to endure. Their joints were out of place and the necks were bent in an uncomfortable angle.

I turned my head back and saw Eren behind the closest tree staring at the scene with an awestruck and furious expression.

"RUN! GET AWAY FROM HERE! DON'T YOU FOLLOW ORDERS? GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" I yelled.

But Eren just stood there starring. He raised his hand and places his thumb inside his mouth before he bit.

The female titan was a few meters away from me. She lifted a feet, and was about to crush me to death.

_Guess this is the end…_

I closed my eyes, prepared for the settling feet that would kill me.

When I didn't feel anything, I slowly reopened my eyes.

_Am I dead already? That was painless…_

But all my thoughts were wrong. I was indeed alive. And right in front of me, Eren was sitting on the female titan, roaring into her face in his titan form.

I was paralyzed with fear and shock. I was ready; I was ready to leave this abhorrent world. What is life when you are captured within walls like a bunch of livestock? But outside the walls is the titans' territory. What choices do we have? Many generations have gone and we still don't know what's further out outside the walls.

I stood still in my place, staring straight forward at the fight that was going on. Eren lifted his arm high in the air and used all his force aiming at the female titan's head. She easily dodged the punch, but Eren's arm was disconnected due to the amount of force he used.

He used his other hand which ended the same way.

Eren's titan sat on the female titan, straddling her hips pinning her down to the ground. I saw how Eren hesitated, though he was a titan, he still had those emerald green eyes and I could see that he was deep in thoughts. I could read him like a book, even in titan-form. Regret and anger, definitely regret and anger.

Eren reopened his jaws and roared once again, this time, a lot louder than the last.

I couldn't bear myself to block out the noises and protect my ears with my hands, I was still in shock. I wouldn't be surprised if I turned out to be deaf tomorrow.

_That's if I survive to tomorrow…_

Eren lifted his arms in the air and concentrated on regenerating his hands. The female titan this this as her chance and in the matter of seconds, she has managed to kick him to a nearby tree.

The scene in front of me was a mess. Limbs were tangled, roars were heard, punches and kicks were received and given. Though this might be the most important fight I'll probably ever experience, I still couldn't move. My body was frozen, nothing can make me move.

I saw how the female titan punched off Eren's jaw and how Eren, though his missing jaw, battled the female titan down to the ground. But she got up and sliced his head off with her hand in one swift movement.

I saw how she bent down beside his corpse and ripped away his nape with her teeth. Eren's body poked out of the nape. Bits of titan flesh were still attached to him and make him look like he was partly skinless.

"EREN!" I heard someone exclaim.

But I didn't look back to check who the noise came from.

The female titan's jaws shut closed, but Eren's feet where still outside her mouth. After that, she got onto her feet and left.

"EREN! GET BACK HERE!" I saw a shadow zap through the air towards the female titan.

I stared blankly after the shadow which my mind was too slow to make out who it belonged to.

That's when a thought hit me. And following it was a train of thoughts.

What should I tell him? More importantly, how should I tell him? He gave me the responsibility of his squad, and I got them killed…

I had noticed how he acted around Petra and vice versa. Petra loved Levi; it was so obvious that it was painful. Though I did not know how Levi felt for Petra, he never talks about personal things, not even with me. But I knew that Levi cared for Petra, deeply.

I dropped down onto my knees, my legs were trembling and my I started to have a headache. My chest was painful due to what I just witnessed. Sitting on my knees took too much energy, so I lied down on the ground with the side of my face in the grass.

This was dangerous. If a titan arrives, I won't have time to escape. But right now, I couldn't care less. I want to leave everyone. I want to leave everything and never return.

"(F/N)….?" A familiar voice called from behind.

I didn't answer. Why should I?

"…..(f/n)" Levi's voice was trembling slightly.

This was the first time I heard his voice trembling, even if it was a slight tremble.

"Don't tell me..." I heard Levi land beside me and quickly went onto his knees on the contrary side from where my face was facing.

Levi's warm and rough hands gently touched my head and patted my hair.

I still didn't move.

_Why aren't I moving? Do I enjoy playing dead? Think about Levi's feelings. He might act expressionless and bored most of the time, but he is still human._

I took in a deep breath and gently pushed myself from the grass. I heard Levi's surprised gasp. But he held himself together and helped me into his arms. He hugged me tightly, tighter than he has ever hugged me before.

I felt his warmth; I felt the comfort that he wants to give me. But now was not the time. Eren was kidnapped by the female titan and someone has followed after her.

I gently shoved Levi away and looked down to the ground.

"I'm sorry….I….Petra, it's all my fault, I'm so sorry… I…." I whispered.

Surprisingly, I haven't started crying. Maybe it was because we were outside the walls.

"I saw. Where did they go?" He asked.

I knew he meant the female titan with Eren and the shadow that went after them. I pointed at the direction I saw them disappear with one trembling finger.

"I can take care of myself. You go after them." I said.

He hesitated at first but understood that there was no other choice and nodded. He made sure I got onto me feet and started walking before he left.

_I can't take care of myself. I need you Levi, I need you._


	22. Guilt

~Chapter 22 - Guilt~

Levi rounded the tree. His steel grey eyes were hunting after its goal, which was me.

I sat on the supply wagon. The cape kept the warmth inside and warmed me up a bit. Though the sun was shining brightly, I still felt cold.

"(F/N)!" he exclaimed and rushed up to me with a relieved expression.

I didn't raise my head to look at him. I didn't deserve it. I couldn't even keep my own squad and his squad alive. Do I even deserve to be alive?

I felt his arms around me. People nearby stared at the scene and I could even hear their heart break.

Levi rarely showed any emotion. So they knew when Levi showed emotions such as relief, joy and sorrow, something big had happened.

I kept my head down, staring at my hands. We sat there in that position for a while before we were interrupted by Commander Erwin informing us that we were going to retreat.

"Come on, let's go." He said and gently pulled me away from the wagon. "Can you ride alone?"

"We are short on horses. You'll either ride together or sit on the wagon." Erwin said as he calmed his horse.

Levi nudged me, giving the question to me.

"I…I can sit on the wagon." I whispered barely audible.

"Ok." Levi replied and gave me one last hug before leading me towards a nearby wagon.

"Eren?" I gasped as I saw a body on the wagon that belonged to no other than Eren.

"He's alive, just unconscious." I looked on the side of the wagon at the direction where the voice came from.

On a horse sat a young woman with shoulder length raven black hair. She had a scar on her right cheek that must have resulted after the battle of Trost.

I grunted back a short reply as I climbed onto the wagon.

"I'll see later." Levi said as he left to Erwin.

I sat down on the wagon beside Eren. There were a few blankets in the corner and 2 barrels of gas. The 3DMG was also on the wagon.

The wagon started moving. It bounced each time it drove over a pebble or into a hole.

I pulled my knees into my chest and laid my arms around my leg. I stared at Eren's face. For once, it actually looked pain-free and peaceful.

The time rolled by. Seconds turned to minutes and minutes into hours. My eyes were always stuck on Eren's face, waiting for him to wake up.

And that moment soon arrived.

"Oh, finally came to?" The soldier that drove the wagon said.

"EREN!" Mikasa exclaimed.

"M-mikasa?" Eren stammered, still half-conscious.

He got onto his elbows and was going to get up but was stopped by Mikasa's warning glare.

"What about the female titan? What happened?" He asked.

"She got away."

"W-what? Why? What about the plan?"

"It failed. You need to rest." She replied putting the conversation to an end.

Eren was taken aback. I knew what he was thinking. It was hard to not to. I mean, they were so close to me…

I pushed the thought away. I dug my head into my arm, trying to get away from the thought of my subordinates and friends.

We reached the wall shortly after. I get the same feeling a safety just by the sight of it.

The wall slowly opened like jaws. Levi, who was a few meters in front of me, gave me a last look before we rode through the gate.

Everything was just like always. The citizens had mixed looks on their faces. Most of them were angry. Not at the titans, but at us. They felt that we cost them too much money and for what, to get eaten outside the walls?

The others showed some sympathy by staying quiet. I didn't need to look to know it. This isn't my first time returning from an expedition.

"Hey look! That's (f/n) (l/n)! I told you she's alive! You owe me a muffin!" I heard someone shout.

It's sick. People, especially kids, have invented a new game called "Who'll come back?" which goes out on betting on a soldier and then see if they return from the expedition.

"Geez, where's Petra? I thought she'd return." I heard someone else say.

I clenched my hands into fists, my nails were digging into my palms and any second, it would start bleeding.

It's not that I didn't dare scolding them for the sick game they were playing. In fact, I actually did once, I had jumped down from my horse, grabbed a hold of one of the kid that made the bet and yelled straight into his face. But the result wasn't pleasant. I got scolded by Levi and Erwin for my lack of respect to kids and immature moves and was close to get a trial in court.

I saw how Levi jumped down his horse and handed it to a nearby soldier that have been on the wagon. He was just about to walk to me when he was stopped by an old man with white hair.

"Corporal Levi! I'm Petra's father. I just wanted to have a talk with you before I find her. I'd like to start off with thanking you for taking her in and taking care of her. As a father, I'm really happy for her." He began. I saw how Levi's mood immediately sank and how his eyes darkened. "You see, my daughter sent me this letter. She wrote how honoured she felt to be able to serve you and to be for some use to you, Corporal…."

The man was smiling and could barely control his eager.

"….And well, anyway, as a father, I uh, I was thinking it was probably too early for me to insist she get married, you know…she's still too young to settle down and has her whole life in front of her…"

I slammed my hand over my ears, and forcefully shut my eyes. I didn't want to hear what he had to say to him. Even less, I didn't want to see the man's disappointing and heart-breaking face after he received the news.

What hurt the most was the fact that I could have done something. I could have saved her.

**Eren's POV**

Petra's father was still smiling, even though he saw how depressed and gloomy Levi became. I wonder if Levi's going to reveal the truth. About…them…

I felt the first tears crowd in my eyes. But I tried my best to keep it in. This was my first expedition; I have to show I'm brave enough and can serve humanity. I was humanity's last hope after all.

But the look on Squad leader (f/n)'s face was the final push for the tears.

She had covered her ears and shut her eyes after hearing the conversation between Corporal Levi and Petra's father. She had a tortured expression on her face, mixed with guilt and sorrow. I understood. Both of us lost most of our squad just a few hours ago.

I laid back on the wagon and gently placed my head on a blanket that represented my pillow. I lifted my arm and covered my mouth with it and started silently cry for myself.

**Reader POV**

-Time skip to a few years later-

_Is this it? Are we finally free?_

I stood on the cliff with Levi and Hanji, looking at the view. The titans under the cliff were all falling down like buildings in an earthquake.

My face cracked into a beaming smile. We did it. The experiment was a success!

Levi's eyes widened at our victory.

We had finally defeated the titans.

I waited for Hanji's reaction. She would always over exaggerate things every opportunity she gets; which was the reason why everybody loved her.

And just as I suspected, she fell down to her knees and roared joyfully and started laughing hysterically.

It was hard to believe that it was just yesterday we created the mixture and poured it into a lake, letting the water's cycle take care of the rest. It was raining a minute ago, the rain contained the mixture and when it landed on a titan, the process would begin.

I kept my eyes on one of the titan. It was a long but slender one and had shoulder-length brown messy hair. It was lying on the muddy ground, and whimpering.

A few minutes later, the titan started vaporizing. The whole area was filled with steam. I squinted, trying to get a better look of the titan. A minute later, when the steam has eased, I immediately looked after the place where the titan once laid.

My smile grew even wider at the sight. The titan wasn't there anymore. Instead, a young woman with messy cinnamon brown hair took its place. She had a long white dress with a brown vest; all of them were frayed due to being probably years inside the titan's body.

Several soldiers from the Survey Corps rushed to the woman and examined her. Hanji excused herself and used her 3DMG to get down to the woman to be a part with the examination.

Levi and I were the only ones left on the cliff. We viewed down the cliff under a comfortable silence. I was going to let this victory last as long as possible. For the ones that have sacrificed their lives for this moment. I was happy to pronounce that their deaths were not in vain.

I heard footsteps behind me, but didn't bother turning around. The sight of titans falling and humans returning to life was so tempting.

"Squad leader (f/n) and Corporal Levi…" It was Erwin's voice.

Levi and I ripped our eyes off of the titans and turned around to face him.

"The experiment was a success." I whispered with a smile.

He nodded and returned my smile.

"That's true. And we have defeated the titans, thanks to you two, Hanji, all the soldiers in the Survey Corps and of course the ones that have sacrificed their lives. I just wanted to come here and personally thank you three for all of your help you've given but I see that Hanji isn't here. I'll thank her in a while. However, I do not know what will happen now, so I'll have a talk with her Majesty the Queen about it."

Erwin said. He smiled one last time before he went back the way he came from.

I turned my head towards Levi. Though the edges of his lips were pointing downwards, the joy and happiness showed otherwise.

I giggled and grasped his hand in mine. And together, we watched as the final titan fall to the ground. We knew that now, was the beginning of a new time with freedom and peace.

**~(AN - This chapter is not as good as the rest, I'm sorry. I'm just really tired and have had a lot of events in my school. But i hope you enjoyed it and the next chapter is probably the last. Sorry for the lack of OCxLevi moments. The next chapter is mainly about that couple :D)~**


	23. Final Flashback

**~(AN-Hi! So, here is the final chapter. I hope you enjoy this as much as I have while writing it. At the part where Levi sings for reader, you can listen to the song as background music. I teared up while doing so, just saying ;P The song i used is "You'll be in my heart" by Phil Collins. Merry Christmas and Happy new year, lovely people ^-^)~**

Chapter 23 - Final Flashback~

**Levi's POV**

I walked down the hallway and greeted my work-friends that passed by with simple nods. My office was just a more doors to the left. When I reached the door to my office, I gently turned the knob and entered the room.

The whole office was pristine clean. I remember that I had cleaned it this morning, so it hasn't had time to gather dust yet. But it still needed to be cleaned again.

I felt a sudden pain in my right leg. Halting, I reached my office chair and slumped into it, hoping that the pain would ease.

_I'm getting old. _

I snorted at my own thought.

The pain in my leg had not yet eased. I crossed my arms and leaned even further down on my chair. Thoughts and memories invaded my mind and took over.

I sighed in defeat of the attention my memories wanted and gently pulled out a key that was tied around my neck like a necklace. I held the key high in the air and examined it with care. I've had this key the day I moved into this office, which was exactly 5 years ago. The key was a skeleton key and used to be golden coloured but after the years rubbing my chest, the golden colour was bleached.

I gently slipped the key into the keyhole in the drawer and turned. I haven't opened the drawer once since I locked the items in. The memories they brought was too painful and I never had the courage to go through them. It's ironic how I used to be humanities strongest and don't even dare to read a letter.

_I'm ready for this. _

I thought as I pulled the handle, opening the drawer. The placing of the content was just how I remembered. A thin document was placed on the left side of the drawer with a letter on top of it. On the other side of the drawer was an accessory box sized wooden chest with a silver lock boarders.

I took a deep breath and prepared myself for the memories that would soon gush against me. I gently lifted my surprisingly steading hands into the drawer and pulled out all three of the items, placing them on the spotless desk. I took another deep breathe before I determined the order on which I would look first. It took me one second to decide that I would read the letter last. It was of course the most painful memory of them all.

The wooden chest was enticing and mysterious since I didn't remember what I put in it so I chose that one. I pulled the box closer to me and smoothly, opened it.

I gasped for air at the sight. I had forgotten exactly how much it hurt too look at the content. I shut my eyes and gathered my thoughts, taking deep breaths through my nose calming myself.

When I reopened my eyes, I emptied the chest and picked up the item that got my attention. It was the green cape I once used when I served the Survey Corps. I folded the green cape and placed it back into the chest. I sighed at how easy it was to touch the cape that I had used for the most part of my life. How many screams has it heard? How many litres of titan and human blood has it soaked?

Pulling up the next item, i examined it. It was a key. I sat there for a moment, thinking who it had belonged and if it lead somewhere. That's when I remembered. This was the key that was supposed to lead to Jaeger's basement and reveal the secrets about the titans.

I remember, just a year before our victory against the titans, we finally reached the basement. We were going to go down to the basement, but found out that the basement was crushed by the pillars and boulders.

Placing the key back into the chest, I grabbed for another item. The cool stone embraced my fingers. I titled my head down towards the cool item. A round emerald green stone surrounded with a golden frame was attached to a long brown thin but strong thread. I sighed as I lifted the neckless to have a better look at it. The stone had a few scratches on it.

_Erwin…_

A train of thoughts gave me a headache so I rubbed my temples trying to ease the pain.

_Why did she do that? I just don't understand. Why did you do that, (f/n)?_

Her name sent a chill down my spine. Even though the whole country hates her and sees her as the devil himself after the things she's done, I still love her. I never got the chance to show her exactly how much I loved her before she left.

I felt my eyes tear up but forced down the tears. I didn't know why I banned myself from crying, nobody was going to see me anyway, so why not? Let my feelings out and then get rid of them? But I didn't want to cry. I want answers, answers I'll possibly never get since she's gone. My last hope is that letter. But I didn't dare open that letter; I haven't touched it for 5 years. The letter seemed haunted. As if it contained secret information that no one is supposed to know, ever.

_Until now…_

I dropped the neckless down into the chest. There was only one item left. I picked it up and felt a pain in my chest. It was a small box wind in black cloth. I immediately remembered what was in the box.

I lifted the lid and just as I suspected, in that box was my old handkerchief. It had stiches all over it since it had been torn several times and I tried to fix it, not wanting to get a new one. This was the item that was dearest to me. I remember the moment (f/n) handed me this as a gift to show her gratitude and appreciation to me.

I shut the lid, not wanting to look at it anymore. Before I placed it back in the drawer, I gave it a kiss.

_Now to the documents. _

The documents were on the desk, it looked obnoxious and if I had the choice, I wouldn't have read it for another five years. But now when I've already started, why not finish it all and leave it alone until next time.

I picked up the documents, my hands trembling slightly. On the top left corner of the first page was a small yellowed picture of a female with raven-black hair. She seemed familiar, and when I read the document, I mentally scolded myself for ever forgetting her.

She's Mikasa Ackerman. I read the document silently to myself.

**Name: **Mikasa Ackerman

**Birthdate: **835 February 10th

**Height: **170 cm

**Weight: **69 kg

**Status: **Deceased

**Notes: **On the 58th expedition, former Survey Corps soldier and 1st ranker in the 104th Trainees Squad Mikasa Ackerman attempted to protect childhood friends Armin Arlert and Eren Jaeger received a fatal punch by a titan from behind.

I placed the document at the bottom of the pile and tortured myself with what remained of the unread documents.

The next was a picture of another female, but this one had brown hair in a ponytail that reached the base of her neck and bangs on her forehead which was parted on the left side. I didn't remember this woman, but she certainly did ring a bell.

**Name: **Sasha Braus

**Birthdate: **835 July 26th

**Height: **168 cm

**Weight: **55 kg

**Status: **Deceased

**Notes: **On an expedition outside the wall, former Survey Corps soldier and 9th ranker in the 104th Trainees Squad Sasha Braus was devoured by a titan after protecting Connie Springer.

I sighed. Both of them sacrificed themselves protecting those who were dearest to them. I was just about to think about (f/n) when I saw her face on the next document. The pain in my chest grew for each second I stared at her portrait. This was the first picture I've ever seen of (f/n). She was as gorgeous as I remembered.

**Name: **(f/n) (l/n)

**Birthdate: **(your birthdate)

**Height: **(your height)

**Weight: **(your weight)

**Status: **Deceased

**Notes: **During the execution of Eren Jaeger, former Squad Leader of the Survey Corps and "humanities strongest female" protected the convicted after committing 3 murders on Erwin Smith, Nile Dok and Dot Pixis.

Her document was the most painful of them all. It brought back the most unbearable mental pain that left me panting for air. I tried to push the memory away, but failed. I leaned back as the memory played in front of my eyes only like a private theatre.

_-Flashback-_

_I tangled my fingers together and placed my chin on it, my elbows were on the desk for support. I heard a faint knock on the door. Who could it be at this time? It's nearly midnight. _

_I gave the person permission to enter my office, and between the doors walked (f/n). I gasped; surprised that she came into my office at this time. Her eyes were devastating and very tired, as if she had just received information that she didn't want to know. _

"_Yes?" I asked, tilting my head slightly to the side. _

_She walked up to my desk silently and dropped a few documents on the table. Still without a word, she collapsed into a wooden chair. I picked up the documents and browsed through it with my eyes. I clicked my tongue as I dropped the documents on the table. _

"_Yes?" I repeated._

_She lifted her gaze and met mine. Her lips were formed into a frown and silent tears wet her rosy chubby cheeks. _

_"Eren…I don't understand anything…" She stammered. _

_She understood. She just wanted me to confirm that what she just read was false and her eyes and mind were playing a hoax on her. But I couldn't do that. Because what she read was the truth. _

"_(f/n), I know how close you are with Jaeger, but you have to stay out of this." I wanted to say that there was no way to save that Jaeger brat, but there was a way. And surprisingly, she managed to find out and do it all by herself._

"_What? What do you mean stay out of it? How can I stay out of it?" She asked. I could hear the anger and desperation in her breaking voice. _

"_(f/n), they've decided already. Jaeger is going to be executed. You have to stay out of it or else you'll get punished. Remember that talk we had in the underground? I asked you if you'd follow my judgements without questioning me you said yes."_

"_I said it depended on the situation." She interrupted. _

"_Wha- Fine, you did say that. And now, I need you to stay out of it. It's not for your own sake, but for mine as well." _

_I kept on pleading her to stay out of it, and just as I suspected, she did the exact opposite. _

_The next day was the day of that brat Jaeger's execution. I didn't look forward to it and I couldn't get any sleep the night before so I was in a terrible mood._

_The execution will take place in the centre of the town; so that everybody could see it. I heard that even Queen Historia would be there. Maybe it was only rumours to lure more people. _

_A high wooden platform was built during the night and another wooden platform with a sharp long blade hovering over it was there as well. As the time for the execution neared and I still couldn't find (f/n), I got more and more worried. And soon, the execution started. _

_A man walked up to the platform. On one side of the platforms stood Erwin Smith, Nile Dok and Dot Pixis together, their arms were crossed and faces were in a stoic expression. _

"_Ladies and gentlemen, today in Sina centre, we'll see the final titan Eren Jaeger executed. He shall be executed for allowing titan-shifter and mass murderer Annie Leonhardt escape and for being the final titan we need to extirpate him. This execution has been allowed by Commander Erwin Smith, Commander Nile Dok and Commander Dot Pixis. Let the execution begin."_

_I heard a rustle from afar. Rising my head, I saw a wagon driving towards the platform. And on that wagon was no other than a blindfolded Eren Jaeger. Even from this distance, I could see his beaten face and his bloodied shirt. They had tortured him in the dungeon before bringing him here. What else would I have expected?_

_My heartrate was getting faster and faster. Not because of that shitty brat Eren, but because of (f/n)'s absence. What could have happened? Where is she?_

_The wagon stopped beside the platform. Two MP's jumped of the wagon and pulled Eren after them. They literally dragged him across the stone ground. I winced at the pain he must felt. Though I hated that brat, I started feel sorry for him._

_Where the fuck is (f/n)? I swear to god if she disobeys me, she'll get years of chorus and several hours of overwork. _

_That is if she makes it out of it alive. _

_I groaned at the thought and managed to push the it away for now._

_The two MP's where now standing on the platform with Eren between them. The blindfold is wet from his tears and his lips and cheeks are bruised. His wrists were roughly tied behind his back and the uncomfortable position even made me wince. _

_Both of the soldiers kicked behind Eren's knees and made him kneel on the platform. They violently grabbed his hair and shoved him head onto the second platform with the blade hovering on top. _

_I crossed my arms. My body was heating up of nervousness and my legs were twitching slightly._

_The man that made the long speech a minute ago walked to the front and started talking again._

_"Any last words, Eren Jaeger?" _

_The brat coughed as he panted and choked down a sob. He was obviously terrified. Before he had the chance of doing anything, I started talking. _

"_Take of that god damn blindfold. He's scared shitless, how the fuck do you expect him to say his last words when he's stuttering like fuck?"_

_The soldiers gave each other a questioning gaze before they nodded to each other and ripped of the blindfold. As soon as it was gone, Eren whipped his head from side to side to make out where he was. After browsing through the audience who were waiting for his execution, his eyes settled at me, pleading for me to save him. _

_I broke the eye-contact, not bearing to look at his desperate face. I can't save him, I just can't risk it. He is the last titan after all. So when he's exterminated, there won't be any more titans to take care of. _

"_So, Eren Jaeger, any last words?" The man repeated irritated. _

"_Is that necessary?" A voice asked. _

_I knew directly that it didn't belong to that brat. That brat would never have the guts to say something like that and the voice didn't match. _

_I saw as (f/n) walked up to the stage with her majestic way of walking. Her hips swayed from the left to the right as if she was on the catwalk. The Survey Corps outfit fitted her perfectly and highlighted her features. _

_I would have never guessed that just a few minutes later, her body will be impaled and destroyed by bullets. _

_(f/n) pushed the soldiers away from Eren. They pointed their guns at her, so she held her hands in the air to show that she was weapon-less and not a threat. I wanted to reach her, I wanted to pull her down from the stage and embrace her until the execution was over. But the crowd kept me away and now when some action was going on, the crowd got even tighter. _

"_Let me speak." I heard the all-so-familiar angel-like voice say._

_She looked at the Commanders, hoping they would help her out. I saw as Erwin Smith held his hand a bit in front of him gesturing her to go on. _

"_Thank you, Commander Erwin Smith. I want you three to find inside your hearts and let my subordinate go. He is the saviour of humanity together with all soldiers from the Survey Corps and shouldn't be executed. He should be rewarded, just like the rest of us. He is not a monster, let him go." Her voice was steady and powerful. _

_The three commanders exchanged looks and whispered something to each other before raising their voice so everyone could hear. _

"_I'm sorry, (f/n), but we cannot allow that. I've prepared the execution platform and we've got the audience ready already. All we need is a victim. Please leave." Nile said with a taunting voice. _

"_If you guys so want an execution, than I volunteer as tribute."_

_Gasps and murmurs spread like wildfire amongst the citizens. My eyes widened and my heart stopped for a short while at her words. _

_A deep chuckle was heard coming from Erwin's lips. _

"_I'm sorry, (f/n), but we can't allow that. Why would we want to execute you? And you can't volunteer as tribute for execution. Learn your place."_

"_I can so. I have the right to take Eren's place if I want." (f/n) pointed at one of the soldiers as she continued. "Get Eren out of here, bring him to Levi, I'll take his place-"_

"_No…NO! Squad Leader (f/n), please don't!" Eren interrupted, he was wiggled trying to face her but the chains limited how much he could move. _

"_Eren, shut up." She said, not facing him. _

_The soldier she had just pointed was sweating furiously; he turned around silently asking the commanders what he should do and received a disapproving look. _

"_(f/n), I'm saying this one last time. Leave, now when you can." Erwin warned with a dark look. _

_I saw how (f/n)'s shoulders slumped slightly. She turned around, but didn't go. She sent one glance towards the queen (what? Why?) before she faced Eren for the first time. She knelt down beside him and leaned towards his ear whispering something inaudible for the rest._

_But it must have been emotional since the brat, if possible, sobbed even more. _

_She gave Eren one last smile as she rose up to her feet. Her eyes looked at the audience, searching for something. And that something was me. _

_Her lips turned into a broad and sad smile when our eyes met. _

_And before I knew it, I started shouting. I yelled her name over and over and demanding her to get of that platform. But she didn't budge. Her smile disappeared as she faced her final destination, the commanders. _

_In the matter of seconds, she pulled out her arm from behind her right shoulder (how did it get there?) with a brown rifle in her hand. With a swift movement and 3 pulls of the trigger, the three commanders dropped down to the ground with blood seeping through a small hole in their foreheads. _

_I gasped. My brain wasn't working. My whole body was frozen just like the rest of us all. But apparently, (f/n) is not in shock form. I know that since she rushed over to Eren as soon the last bullet hit the last commander's forehead. (f/n) dropped down onto her knees and pulled Eren away from the fatal platform. She violently placed Eren's head on her lap and crouched over his body like a….shield. _

_I was nauseous when I realised her plan. She was going to protect him with her body. _

_Just a millisecond after her body fully protected Eren's head and the most important organs, shots were heard. The same shots that awoke the audience from their shock and made them run in different directions away from the platform. Screams and shouts surrounded me. The people kept running into me and pushing me away from the platform, and my short height wasn't helping. _

_A loud voice roared through the town from a high building, it demanded for the gunshots to stop. The soldiers followed the Queen's orders and shortly after, the gunshots ceased. _

_I was desperate. I needed to talk to (f/n); I needed to check if she was ok. _

_Oh god please say she's ok. _

_When I finally reached the platform, I was close to scream out loud. A big pool of blood was on the stage and in the middle of it sat Eren and (f/n). Eren's head was still between (f/n) torso and lap like a sandwich. (f/n)'s back was impaled with bullet holes and it was bloodied down. _

_I climbed up to the platform and ripped that shitty brat away from (f/n). All my sympathetic feelings for him were long gone. Eren wiggled on the platform, wanting someone to untie him. But that wasn't important, what was important was to check (f/n)'s wellbeing. _

_I gently laid my hands on her waist and placed her head on my thighs after I had kneelt down on the wooden planks. _

_She looked at me from her half-lidded eyes with a pained face and as soon as her eyes met mine, she smiled. I felt my heart breaking into tiny pieces just seeing her in this state. _

"_WHAT THE FUCK WHERE YOU THINKING? I TOLD YOU NOT TO INTERFEER AND WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO? YOU GOD DAMN INTERFEERED! WHAT THE FUCK (F/N)?" I shouted, but didn't move my body afraid of the movements might hurt her. _

_I knew that scolding her this time was a stupid thing to do but I couldn't hold my irritation and anger. _

"_Levi…calm down…it's ok…" She whispered. _

"_No (f/n)! This is unacceptable! You can't do something like this! Have you ever thought about me? What do you think will happen to me when you're gone?" I stared at her straight into her glossy eyes._

"_Of course I've th-" She didn't have time to finish her sentence when she was interrupted by violent coughs which brought blood. A thin stream of blood started from the edge of her lips to her chin flooded and made her look unbelievably sick. _

_After she panted for a few seconds, she pulled herself together and finished her sentence. _

"_Of course I've thought about you. You'll understand later. Don't hurt Eren. He's innocent." She stammered barely audible. _

"_What do you mean? That shitty brat is far from innocent! And how the fuck will I ever understand th-?"_

_I didn't finish my sentence. Not because I couldn't finish, but because she claimed my lips. _

_I stared at (f/n)'s alluring face closely. Even though she was pale from the blood-lost and had blood smeared all over her chin, she was still breath-taking. _

_Within a millisecond after I understood the situation, I melted into the kiss and shut my eyes. My left hand finds its way under her head for support as I deepened the kiss, making it passionate and unforgettable. Our lips waltzed together and I could feel how (f/n) smiled into our kiss. When I was just about to deepen the kiss even further, I noticed that (f/n) was pulling back. _

_I was just about to ask her why when reality hit me. _

_I reopened my eyes and saw how (f/n)'s eyes slowly shut. The edge of her lips were facing up into a sad and relieving smile. Life was slipping out of her like a handful of sand out of fingers. _

"_Sing…for me." She managed to get out of her. _

_Normally, I would yell at her for her stupidity. But now wasn't a normal situation. _

_I rummaged through my memory trying to remember lyrics so a song that would fit this situation and find out one song. It was actually my favourite. _

_I've never sang before but I didn't care. It was for (f/n), I'll do anything for her. _

_My lips parted lips and sang with a low and husky voice. _

"_Come stop your crying_

_It will be alright_

_Just take my hand_

_Hold it tight"_

_(f/n)'s smile grew, encouraging me to continue singing. _

"_I will protect you _

_From all around you_

_I will be here_

_Don't you cry"_

_My free hand finds its way to her hand and I held to it as if I was holding onto her life. _

"_For one so small,_

_You seem so strong_

_My arms will hold you,_

_Keep you safe and warm_

_This bond between us_

_Can't be broken_

_I will be here_

_Don't you cry"_

_I gently pulled her up to me and placed her chin onto my shoulder for support, my hand still holding hers. _

"_Cause you'll be in my heart_

_Yes you'll be in my heart_

_From this day on_

_Now and forever, more"_

_I felt how (f/n)'s body went limp in my embrace. But I kept on singing, not daring to stop. _

"_You'll be in my heart_

_No matter what they say_

_You'll be in my heart, always."_

_I could stop myself. I could control myself and keep the tears inside until no one was watching. But what do I earn from that? I wanted everyone to see how devastated I was. I wanted everyone to understand how I felt and that it was partly their fault. _

_With her face still on my shoulder, I wrapped both my arms around her limp body sharply as I swayed her lightly from side to side as I let my tears run free. _

_Why was life so unfair? When we finally defeated the titans after losing so many people to them, life just had to take away the last person I cared for._

_I don't know how long time I sat there, but it felt like ages. I remember the time I rose, my legs have slept and it hurt. The whole time, (f/n)'s last words rang through my head on repeat. Those three simple words will haunt me every night for the rest of my lives._

_I love you. _

_-End of Flashback-_

Coughing down a sob, I turned to the next page. This is going a lot slower than expected.

The next picture on the document was a male with dark brown hair parted in the middle.

I groaned in annoyance at the shitty brats' face. I remember (f/n) ordering me to not hurt him, and I haven't. Well, to be honest, I haven't talked to him ever since the execution.

The chair creaked when I leaned further into the chair. With my arms crossed, I gathered my courage for the remaining content of the drawer, mainly the letter.

I remember returning from the execution, expressionless and heartbroken. My whole world shattered out of my reach making it impossible for me to prevent it from happening. I walked to my office in the HQ and found this letter on my desk. I remember clearly how my mood, if possible, sunk even further. My chest felt weird at that time as if my heart would break my ribs and fall out of my chest. When I had walked up to the letter, on the front, it stood her name, written with her unique cursive hand style.

The letter is still, till this day, unopened.

I reached my trembling arm after the letter. As my fingers laced against the smooth paper, my heartrate rose drastically. It felt like my heart was beating in my throat.

With shaking fingers, I gently opened the envelope, stripping the content. Just as predicated, it was a sheet of paper, written by (f/n). I pulled out the paper, took a deep breath and started reading.

**Dear Levi,**

**This is the first letter I've ever written, and probably the last. I'm glad that the receiver is you.**

**When you read this, I'm probably not alive anymore. But I'll always be by your side, just like I've always been.**

**Even though I have the plan in my head, pulling down my mood, I decided to spend my last day with the person I care most, which is you.**

**Something seemed to bother you during the time we spent that day, but it's more than I can ask for. Only knowing you're there, just a few meters away from me makes me over-joyed.**

**Remember the talk you had with Isabel in the Underground? You might not remember it, but I remember it as if it was yesterday you had that conversation. I eavesdropped on you, but I don't regret it. I did what I felt were right; and I hope that the consequences will be as planned. And I hope that I made a change to this disgusting world.**

**I've lived a great life. I've met wonderful humans, and took apart of defeating the titans, reclaiming humanity's freedom. And what makes it better is that I get to do it with you.**

**To be on the safe side, I need to tell you, just in case I didn't manage to do it after the plan, how I feel for you.**

**You are the person I value most in my life. I would literally do anything for you. That's why I came up with this plan with Her Majesty the Queen. If this plan goes how I want it to go, taking 3 lives in exchange for true freedom for the rest of humanity.**

**I love you, Levi. And now when I'm not there, alive by your side, I want you to live your life to the fullest. Remember, I love you and I'll always do, forever.**

**Yours truly,**

**(f/n) (l/n)**

As the last word faded in my mind, my heartrate paced down a bit. It felt as if a boulder was lifted off my shoulders and years of agony vanished together with the fading word. This letter explained the mysteries that have haunted me for the past five years.

My fingers gently clenched against the letter, doing my best to not spoil the fragile paper. A smile tugged on my lips, threatening to smile in any second. I gave in, and let the smile take over my lips.

"Thank you, (f/n). I'll love you forever, until the sun and moon collide." I whispered to thin air, hoping she might be near and listen to my words.

I folded the letter and stuffed it back to its home in the envelope. My hands worked together and placed all the items back into the drawer before I locked it once again. I got up from my seat and walked out of the office.

Not aware of my guardian angel who've stood behind me, watching my reaction towards the letter. The angel placed her chin on the chair as the room fell silent. Her smile glittered like the sun as tears of joy seeped out of her glossy eyes like small diamonds.

"I love you too, you sappy old man." She giggled.

**~(AN-That's it. That's the end of my all-time first fanfiction and complete story i've ever written. I'm so proud of this piece of work that I'm crying, of joy that is. I want to say that i've taken every review, follow, favourite and view to heart and cry each time i see how far this fanfic has gone. I love each and one of you and thank you sooo much for taking your time and reading this. I LOVE YOU!)~**


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